Variety (January 1951)

PICTURES Forty-fifth Anniversary Wednesday, January 3, 1951' THE CADILLAC THIEF Steppin’ Out for A A Cinema Travesty Based on An Idea By Jerry Wald By Iia:N ENGLUND Hollywood. DAWN ' mh/i mnini-inl mTonfiiinnA mnn.tinn . nf fho Unll'ii. Rnrrow vour acent’s Buick. Ja.ck Warner dlives to . Wolk Bit of Fresh Medium By JOHN GARnELD Ken Ehgiund viQod screenwriter, NiGEL FLATBUSH, his wife, DAWN, and their 13-year-old son, liORY. SCENERY— A painted wire frame to symbolically simidate a breakfast nook a la William Haines. PROPS— A 71 antique table, 800 years old, is set for breakfast. Around it three Welsh. chair $, 4^00 years old. On . the table are two silver coffee pots, labeled the. other HER’S. At each i)lace a silver newsaper holder contains a copy of Daily Variety. There is a phone at each place. Both Dawn and Rory are on their phones. The latter is nattily attired in the uni' form of the Stouifellow Military institute. Dawn, inasmuch as. she is NigeVs third wife, is very young and very pretty. ' RORY— (gulping coffee, snarling into phone alt same time) Listen, Mickey, it can only be 10*10 and 10 actoss the board because I don’t get my allowance for another Week! DAWN— '(into phone— conspirdtorily) Tin meeting Lillian at Magnin’s and we’re going 'together to Bullock’s— then why don’t we all meet at Saks at two? (looks off, anxiously) I can’t talk now — ^here he cpriies! (Both hang up and pick up their trade papers as Nigel enters. Over his sport coat of many colors he wears, a cdshmere polo coat plus yellow beret and blue suede shoes. ) . V ^ r NIGEL— (kissing Rory) Good morning, son — RORY— (studying him) Quelle hangover. Good morning, Nigel NIGEL—. It’s those sleeping pills— must change hiy brand. DAWN — (kissing him) Good morning, darling. Time to eat anything? NIGELr^^ sitting nefvously— excited) . Just coffee, honey. Well today’s the day! ( leafs through Variety devouring the print with his eyes while he gulps the coffee Dawn pours for him from HIS pot) NIGEL — (mumbling— annoyed) My bastard agent didn’t put it in! RORY What? NIGEL That I was starting today at MGM. (expansively) To think 1 finally made it. The Tiffany of studios. What an assignment! I can see the credit — (fiyiger tracing the letters in air) “Lassie Get Down. Written for the screen by Nigel Xavier Flatbush!” DAWN— (clasping her hands enraptured) MGM— it seems too good to be true!. NIGEL I’ll write like a fool! •• DAWN 1 know you will, 'darling— And darling, can I put a down payment on that bracelet, just to commemorate this day? 1 guess I’m sort of sentimental. NIGEL Yes, baby— but make it a check. We can always cancel it. D A WN— ('hugging him) Oh, baby — NIGEL They’re only hiring me week to week* you know. Let’s see how I do— Goodbye, you all! (He exits with a confident wave. Dawn sits, sips her coffee and reads Variety) RORY— { rising) Dawn, can 1 borrow your Nash? The kids all laugh at school because my Chevrolet is dirty. You never have it washed. DAWN — (eyes on Variety) No, Rory, dear. L need mine for something important. RORY— (mumbles an oath of disgust) Besides, all the other fellows are getting an Olds con* vertible for their graduation! ■ DAWN 1 know, Rory dear, but your father doesn’t want to spoil you. He wishes you to have a normal boyhoOd. ■ RORY ! Don’t give me that. When I played football, didn’t Dad buy me a platinum supporter —?: : GAWN. ■. Yes, but your father knows what valuable contacts you make in a locker-room. ( Rory kicks a chair, grabs his books and sullenly starts out) . (Nigel dashes into scene, panting, panicky, his beret disheveled. He staggers, clutches his pounding heart, and yulps some water) : DAWN— (jumping up) Daiiing, what’s the matter? NlGELi— ( go ie white) DAWN in a Buiok. ■-. NIGEL. He can afford to— I can’t. It would be coriiplete loss of face for me. ^ (He cradles his head in his arms and sobs on the table, blubbering). ' ) It has to be a Cadillac! . DAWN— (anguish, like the: Irish Players) Oh,' Godi What’ll we do? What’ll we do? (She cries on the table. Rory starts to sniffle) .NIGEL^( straightening up— pulling himself together) i must keep a tight grip on my nerves. I got a good glimpse of the thief at the wheel. He was blonde, arid a very low-class type— had lapels on his sportcoat. . (rising— to Rori/) Come on, son— we’ll find him! (He claps his son’s . miUtary headgear on the boy’s head— -a tall fur busby similar to the ones worn by the . British, fusiliers regiments, insignia reading : Stoutfellow Military institute) > .■ NIGEL — (glaneing at watch) I’ve got a full hour before the studio misses me. (Nigel and Rory run out of scene i Dawn, distraught, slumps into her chair and feebly, dials the phone,, all strength drained from her body. .She bites her lip to keep from crying) ' DAWN— ( 071. phorie) Hello— Lillian-^I can’t go to Magnin’s or Saks— riot even to Bullock’s. Nigel may lose his job. His Cadillac’s been stolen! Tell them at Gorshgorn’s— teill them^not to hold my bracelet. ^ (She collapses on the table— like. Madame X or The Trial of Mary Dugan) LIGHT BLACKS OUT ON HER--LIGHT UP ANOTHER PART OF STAGE ON NIGEL AND RORY tramping over the city. Nigel takes Rory’s hand. Dramaticmusic is over scene. Street noises on record in b.g. Lighting indicates it is growing later. NIGEL You look that way-^I’ll look this— RORY Is it nighttime yet? NIGEL— (looking at watch, derperdtely) It’s only 10 in the morning— that’s smog. RORY. Dad! Look! There he is outside Schwab’s! NIGEL There’s my Cadillac! He’s driving away! (Both start to run— remaining in the same spot — lights flickering over them Id indicate the chase) NIGEL— (shouting) . Stop thief! Stop thief! Police! Police! POLICEMAN— (entering scene)' What are you doing on foot? NIGEL — (pointing off) Officer! That’s my yellow. Cadillac — ( relaxing'— in despair) It’s gone! (The cop has been writing. He hands Nig el two tickets) NIGEL What are these? POLICEMAN Two tickets for jaywalking. NIGEL— (pointing off) But — POLICEMAN Want me to add— insulting an officer? (Nigel gulps— COP exits) NIGEL^ — (to Rory— looking around like Alice -in-Wonderland) We must be in Beverly Hills. (they walk disconsolately) Had no idea we had walked so far. RORY Wait-— let’s ask Mr. Schwab if he saw the thief— and knows who he is! NIGEL Of course— It’s worth a try. (They open door. Noise of drugstore) . NIGj!.L Hello, Mr. Schwab. Have you seen any suspicious looking characters in here just now? DRUGGIST — (entering). All my customers look like suspicious characters. What’s the matter? ■ NIGEL My Gadillae’s been stolen. I can’t go to work at MGM without it! ^ ■.. . DRUGGIST Oh, my God! That shouldn’t happeu to a producer/ Now about your benzedrine bill— it’s over $800— NIGEL (backing away) The check’s in the mall. ( Nigel hurries into street, closing door. Of drugstore. Street noises in b:g. again. Nigel tramps on— looking to right and left, not noticing that Rory is no longer beside him. Then he sees his. son is gone arid grows John Garfleld Hollywood, What’s a guy to do? Have you ever had the feeling you're a juggler with four^ clubs going at one time? With hecklers, yet? Suppose you were a guy like me, with a fair share of success in, pictures, and good notices on Broadway plays , you have appeared in. Suppose you genuinely, legitiriiateiy, sincerely like to do both. Why shouldn’t you? ' :Why? . . You’re in Hollywood making a picture. You announce that, as soon as this picture is finished, you’re going to New York to he with your family arid to try to set a deal to appear iri a play. You’re happy about it. What happens? You get a banner in a daily paper that says “Garfield to leave Hollywood forever.’’ Somebody editorializes that you, who have been treated so cordially by Movietown, are a deserter. Why should aniyo7ie want to go back to Broadway? Gut here; there’s money and sunshine and a medium that reaches millions. ’ ■ If you try to correct that impression by stating that acting is your hobby, that you’ll go On acting as long as 200 people gather in a barn to see you, get set for another blast. You’re a ham. You call making millions a year, “a hobby?’’ What’s the rnatter with polo? You can shrug your shoulders, biit you’re nOt through. Broadway has its beef. You consider yourself an actor when the Group Theatre accepts you way back in 1933; You get a break in pictures. To you, it doesr.'t matter if they call you a theatre actor or a movie star. You’re acting, arid you’ve added a medium, not changed one for ariother. But some of the Broadway wiseguys. w’ou’t have it that way. Go back to Gotham and they load your mail with vituperation. “Whyn’t you stay where you belong?’’ “Whatta you movin’ pitcher actors, mean by coming here and taking bread from the mouths of thiltir actors?’* they ask. To them you’re the Hollywood bigshot whose “name’’ and not ability carries top credit. You begin to wonder. It isn’t all that way. But you hear it. Then the announcement is made that you are going to appear in “Peer Gynt” for ANTA. A press agent who likes anomalies points out that you are going to work for $80 a week, you who get $100,000 a minute in Hollywood. You income-tax dodger, you! Why don’t you turn all your money over to the Government? You only work in pictures so you can make enough money to indulge yourself in the luxury of working for nothing, which you can afford, but .nobody else who really needs the money can do! Whom are you trying to impress? Who ya kidclin ? What’s the angle? Don’t try to protest. Don’t bother saying you would, have worked for nothing to get the chance, to do . “Peer Gynt,’’ the realization of a lifetime ambition. You’d have paid for the privilege. Don’t tell anyone what ANTA means to you and to the people. Don’t point to Helen Hayes and Katharine Cornell and Louis Jouvet and the others; they’re having troubles of their own. ■ I Just 8 Hours Apart The Cadillac’ ■ stolen! Oh, no! "'■NIGEL' Just when I’ve got the best job in my Whole career— Now I’ll lose it! ' ■: ; 'DAWN. Why, darling? , Just take a bus or a streetcar to Metro. 'NIGEL/; Are you insane? 1 can’t go to take a $2,000 a week job and arrive on a bus! I’ll lose face. DAWN Use my Nash or Rory’s Chevrolet. w, . . Nigel You out of your mind? La.st week a Dodge tried to get into Romanoff’s and was pushed back into the street. You know they riever accept anything but Cadillacs. NIGEL /■ Rory! (he looks around wild-eyed) RORY— (running in) NIGEL panickg.) Rory! Rory! Oh— niy God! Hi-^ Where were you? L RORY . ■■■ \ In ochwab’s. I stopped to get Ava Gardner’s phone number, NidrEL— (slappmg Rorjy’s face) Ungrateful wretch. How can you think of anything else when we haven’t found the Cadillac! (The boy mortally hurt, pouts. They continue to tramp, Rory keeps sullen distance from his parent They open (Continued on Page 54) You hear talk ail the time about the pocket-size of the world, that everything has been telescoped. New York and Hollywood aren’t 3,000 miles apart; they’re eight hours away from each other. It’s a short Sunday drive to the country, from Vine Street to Broadway, What’s all the fuss? Who’s .going anywhere? I’ll be right back. I’m just stepping out for a bit of fresh medium. L want some radio, and some television, and pictures when they want me. and plays ditto. Can’ll? A writer has something to say. He chooses what he thinks is the best form of expression for. that idea. It may be a play, or a novel, or even a letter to the editor. A painter picks water color, or oil or charcoal as his medium of expression. Why not an actor? I don’t think pictures would let me play a lyrical character with great humor, a man who ages from 21 to 70 as I do in “Peer Gynt.’’ 1 can try it on Broadway. The play, as I say, is something I’ve wanted to do forever. Every time I’ve been interviewed, I’Ve said “I’m going to do ‘Peer Gynt’ someday on Broadway.’’ ANTA has announced it for sure this time, but I’ve been accused of crying wolf coast-to-coast. Well, seeing is believing (with notable exceptions) and when they see it, it will be too late. A fait accompli overrides the desire to see anyone eating crow. You’re too happy when you’re doing something ypii’ve wanted to do always. And something . else. I’ve got a chance to act in a picture I think a lot of; “He Ran All the Way.” I liked the book, 1 like the script and best of all, I like the. idea of having a say in the production. It is being produced by Bpb Rpb* erts^ Productions, in which 1 have a financial interest. Don t. think you’ve eliminated howls of protest when ypu reach semi-producer status. You work half a careertime getting to the ppint where ypu can offer suggestions that may or may npt be accepted on merit, rather than refused on the .snide basi.S that, ah actor is puttiiig them forth. ^ A inugger ought; to know values. : Whal’s the beef if he.; ha.s a say-so? I think every motion picture aetor with expenence can enhance a script. At, least he ought to be li.steried tp. I’ve got a break . I can. But don t envy me 1 still have to answer for it. . I ve vyorked hard to earri the right to choose niy scripts, on Broad way, It’s a holocaust in Hollywood. Well* there’, s a si ni pie resolutipn. I’ll just have to make up my own mind to do whatl want to do— if my wife lets me.. . ■ . • an The fighter was blessing himself in his corner before the big fight at Madison Square Garden. The ^0 (he priest sitting beside him arid u ‘ ^ ^ help .lim?” And the Prie.st answered: If he can jjunch it will.” Joey Adams.