Variety (January 1954)

«# . ' V7 — * >4 mmvmApamm# Wednesday,, January 6, 1954 History Is Made At Nile = Continued from page 4 to fit their prepared “impromptus.” However, I doubt that Benjamin Franklin brought on bur Revolutionary War Just so he could say after the signing of the .ueclaration: “We must now all hang together, or hang separately.' Even Milton Berle wouldn’t have a water-scene, set built, just so he can .say to a bald-headed mart in the water: “Go down again and come up the right way!” The credo of the comic is “Wait for your laugh, but not. more than an hour:” Sonic candidates, with ''special” material wouldn't : get a laugh if they remained on the rostrum all night — and often do. Best description of a “prepared speech.” at a public gathering: •'Like the fellow who worked for six months forging a check, only to have it come back ‘insufficient funds’,” But there is no discouraging them. Franklin D. Roosevelt often asked for situation gags to fit certain eventful speeches. One he received and .used much in his campaigns .was the ‘‘Hillbilly calling on a girl for a year. Finally her father said to him: ‘Are your intentions to my daughter honorable or dishonorable?” “You mean I got a choice?”. I’ll vouch for this. At a big dinner, and already he was then President, F.DJR. in the ante-room before the event asked for an ap-p ro priattr*y a rn , R ehearsed -it ri gh t there and then. Went on for his Speech and though he finished to tumultuous applause, he seemed Upset because lie forgot to inject the gag. lie never forgot it after that and used it in his major campaign meetings. The one of the fellows who complained that, he could not hear or see well. When the doctor found out he was a drinker, warned him that his ebbing sight and hearing was caused by that drinking. Patient promised to stop it. Two months later, the doctor ran into this patient again, this time really blotto. “Didn’t I tell you to Stop— that liquor wns hurting your sight and hearing?”. “Yes. doc, but what I’ve been drinking is so much better than What I’ve been hear-: ing and seeing, lately,. I decided to continue it.” Nobody has to supply the best political yarn-spieler of them all— ^ Alben Barkley. In fact, gagwriters steal from him. Always a question as to who gets it from who? — and don't pay. In fact. I’ve heard the same -joke used by different candidates, on opposition tickets, ort the same night, in different hails. Occasionally you get a candidate doing an ad lib better than he knows. Such as the time I said to one, “May the best man win.” “Oh. so you’re against me, too?” Ever since the publicized humor of Adlai Stevenson, the fun-factories-are— flooded— with -demands from all grades of office-seekers, for apropos nifties. What they think is a privately-owned yarn ends up like the three feltows sitting together in a train. Right opposite, was a lone gentleman with a diamond pin in his tie. As the train entered a dark tunnel, here was the conversation between the three fellows: “I’d like to have that diamond pin” — I got it” — “You had it.” 1 Who Said It and When? j Currently, every stateman is getting credit for the line, “When you throw mud, you, lose' ground.” I heard the unforgettable Jimmy Walker phrase it a bit differently. “Let them throw mud at you; wait till it ‘cakes’ and then throw it back.” “An Englishman is the same the more he changes,” is another standard. Our barbs at Presidential candidates vary, little, except to change the name of the Candidate. Used against Thomas E. Dewey was the yarn of the farmer who always was going to Vote for Dewey, for President, because he noticed “we always have good times right after.” For the record, that was also first against a Democrat, William Jennings Bryan — the same gag. Once in awhile vou get an •’adopter” candidate, like Rudoloh (“Kefauver”) Halley, who cops the thunder of a telling gag. In his late and lamented campaign, he ..listened to a. yarn being told at a banquet. Concerned the novice bettor, watching a clergyman talking to horse before the race, Better figured he was blessing the nag arid put $200 down on him: •The-horse-finbhed-lastrHe-40oked up the clergyman and cried, “On account of you blessing that horse, I bet on him and lost $200.” “Blessing him? — I was giving him the last rites.” Halley used that yarn during the recent Mayoralty campaign/ but called the horse “Tammany Hall.” The -voter in a campaign is the chief , joker. More uncomplimentary gags were tossed around in this last Presidential shindig than in all campaigns combined. The public deosn’t like catchphrases such as “He called me Jack.” That ruined the chances of John Purroy Mitchell as a political force in New York — it didn’t sit well with the hoi-polloi, . when Mitchell boasted that Vanderbilt called him by his first name, “Cocktail Charlie” killed Vice-President Charles Fairbanks’ chances for the Presidency, when he took , the blame for serving the cocktails: that were really ordered by Theodore Roosevelt. To this day nobody really knows what was meant by it, . When the Whole country Was saying: “You can’t kick my dog around,” that both made and broke Champ Clark. History will give more space to political punchlines of Harry Truman, Xhan any recorded Of even rugged “Old Hickory.” ' The World Laughs With You The saying goes, “That which will not bend. will break.” .America is the most pliable of nations. It will laugh at the. drop of a hat. especially if the guy / is still in it. There isn’t an event, political or natural, that fails to elicit a gag, nun or wisecrack. So much so; that it was only natural to develop actual organizations of rib and roast. The Circus Saints & Sinners : — Gridiron — Inner CircleCorrespondents Dinner -X Anvil Chorus and growing groups all over the land, to spoof the mighty and to sit with them. The targets of these barb-bandits are afraid to stay away from the events and have to “laugh it up,” to show they can “take it.’f Or as one mean said, “Politics not. only makes strange bedfellow, but that’s how learning to sleep with one eye open was invented.” It’s traditional for even the White House, to personally invite leading comedians, such as Will Rogers and Bob Hope, to “tell it” to the President, himself, who occasionally looks over the material, before the other guests arrive. Only President Hoover forget to edit A1 Jolson, at a Command Performance, but of that at another time. But as it ail now stands, hiredhumor is playing a growing part in national and international! life. The “jokes” often matching the same, in politics. The “laugh” is now used to get work — and Uncle Sam isn’t a bad sponsor, TEENEWS TAKEOVER BY NEWS OF DAY Deal has been set for News of the Day. newsreel jointly owned by Metro and the Hearst Corp., to take over Telencws. national newsreel service for TV stations. Connected with the transaction is International News Service, the j Hearse press association which served as representatives and distributors fpr Telenews. New arrangement between INS and News of the Day will be much the same as that between 20thFox’s Movietone News and the United Press for a special video newsreel. . Telenews previously serviced CBS, blit at present its only network client is ABC in addition to many individual stations. CBS dropped the service when it established its own reel. \ Peter Lorre to Hollywood Hollywood. Peter Lorre, absent from Hollywood for four years, returns to take a leading role in Walt Disney’s CinemaScoped “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,” filmization of the Jules Verne classic. Lorre will depart from his usual villainy to portray the scientist ; Conseil in the color pie. Kirk ! Douglas stars. Lensing starts Jan. i 11, at Nassau. By WALTER READE JR. The past year has brought us new dimensions in production and exhibition, and in policies of theatre operation, resulting. In a rebirth of public enthusiasm and acceptance of motion picture entertainment^ but apparently lacking I has been the introduction of new blood and the proper use of the young blood in our industry. In order to encourage those at the bottom of the ladder and those who had come from the outside to make their careers in our great industry, there must be incentive— not just glamor, not just , a title— but in the pocketbook, and In the encouragement and praise where it has been earned. Further, it is essential that we create intelligent and constructive training programs. Considering the need and the great scope, very, little has been done in the past in proper training, and certainly there has been little continuity to what little has been done.. It is gratifying to note that the last few months have seen Some activity in this field': There is great need for nationwide clinics, on the local level, for managers and other members of the theatre staff in theatre operation, advertising, exploitation, community service, public relations, etc. Many of our circuits have been doing this for years, but such clinics could be of inestimable value to the majority of exhibitors, the independents. These “back to school” sessions could be not only instructive, but also stimulating to the newcomers to our business— proving grounds for the recruits and stepping stories to careers of solid foundation. Another basic fault in our handling 'of personnel is the lack of placing resppnsibilty where— it belongs and allowing the many capable young persons and executives. to follow through on their own merits.. Unfortunately, because of the pressure Of time, the fear of mistakes and the heavy thumb of the old order, the imagination and initiative that have been so apparent on all sides have not beep adequately encouraged. We have failed, I believe, by allowing too few members of the many millions associated with showmanship to have a sense of participation— a sense of helping to create. Too often the “top brass” has hogged the credit lines; too often have the profit-participation plans bpen corifined to the higher echelon. Profit-Participation Frankly, I feel that one of the best ways of helping ourselves on this whole subject is to make broader and broader profit-participation plans in all facets of the industry. These can and must be logically and thoroughly co-ordinated. In order to weld an effective nucleus of personnel in any company, it is essential that these persons have a sense of being a vital member of the whole team — a feeling this is their . career — and a sense of permanency, with a high regard and devotion for their chosen work. Pride of ownership is a basic characteristic of every good citizen, arid this applies also to the ownership of a job— of the Work lie does and the position he occupies in his community. ■Pride mu,st come from within the individual, and he is unlikely to attain it without a sincere belief that, his work is all-important not only to himself, but also to his fellow-man. Therefore, to the new dimensions and the new policies, we must add new blood and new methods to stimulate the inherent ability of our personnel. Fourth-annual Comm u n ion breakfast for Catholic .filmites is set for Jan. 31 at; the Waldorf Astoria, N. Y., following 9 a.m. Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, First such Communion get-together was held four years ago arid since has, spread to New Orleans L. A., Detroit and Toronto. fewer But Better Fix Continued from page 31 lieve our engagement was the outstanding one for the : 3-D engagements. We have, followed that up with an exciting arid successful engagement of John Wayne in “Hondo” in our four large Texas cities, which convinces me that 3-D has a great chance and opportunity, arid I must admit that since “Bwana Devil” we have;, approached third-dimension a little bit differently. We, ourselves, put a paper brad which formed a hinge in the first fragile paper glasses that were ; used. We now use a Sterlloptics plastic frame with Polaroid centres, which are sterilized after each use, and which are just as firm as the eyeglasses you wear every day. We have been in a position to watch closely our 3-D presentations and have received great cooperation from our booths. However, there is no doubt in my mind that the single projector 3-D, such as Moroptican or Nord, will eliminate many, of the ills, guarantee synchronization, and most important, in our situation, Would elirriiriate three operators a Week at a cost, in downtown Dallas, of $315 due. to the synchronization of two machines. Which would be eliminated. In my opinion, the most archaic part of the motion picture distribution system is the present plan of individual branch operations. The greatest progress in the world could be made by a combination in the 31. exchange areas. So. far, 3-D has been very successful for us, although I must advise you that we have not played in ariy important theatres, the so-called lesser 3-D pictures, and I believe that by selling only what we construed the top A pictures, following “Bwana Devil,” we have maintained our market. As you can gather from the above! we think stereophonic sound is a great asset and, despite its costs, should be used where practical, taking into consideration that there are unquestionably thousands, of small theatres that should be furnished product With a single track sound, eliminating stereophonic sound in. the later runs. ~ 1 CinemaScope Something must be done as to duplicate versions of CinemaScope films, and I believe that shortly you will find they will be able to be presented with single track, but its great value is the method of presentation and should be maintained^ ju that, scope until ^atl least 75% or 80% of the business has been gained. In my opinion, theatres that do not convert to the new modern method of, presentation will be obsolete and out of date. ^Regardless of the argument of the tax reduction carripaign, there will be many thousands of fringe, or almost obsolete, theatres eliminated. 1 Flatties Too | Spectacles such as “Quo Vadis” and "The Robe” are great widescreen attractions, but certainly our success with “Shane” leads us to believe that thbre can be some fantastic results there also. “How to Marry A Millionaire” indicated again that CinemaScope is a big asset. As to “production letting down exhibition” on 3-D,— it. is my opinion that some of these pictures which were rushed through in third-dimension should have “stood :ift bed.” There certainly was an attempt to get. on the bandwagon with inferior product, and this is the product I referred to as not playing our better theatres. One thing I would like to add: I find that in . the motion picture exhibition it’s the only industry in America! that has a tendency to low-rate or belittle its own merchandise. By that I mean most! of the knocking has been done about our attractions from within our own ranks— -and it is time we got on a soapbox and shouted to the housetops that nowhere in the world can they get so much for so little as in the motion picture theatres of the country. Show Tunes Continued front, page j magic be Mary Martin, with whom v/e’ve been going steady for year? or Lee Wiley, with' whom we’ve aUn been going steady; or Lehman En gel, who does the magniiicient m l S'cai comedy sets for Columbia Z Jack Cassidy, whose Victor of “Tho Most Beautiful Girl in the World* contains the tun^s rarely heard verse; or the pages of Jack Bur ton’s indispensable “Blue Book of Broadway Musicals”; or Hush Shannon, who is the saddest of tn the sad young men; of Atlantic the label that issues so many records to our taste; or Ted. Straeteror George Byron; or Dorothy Carl less..: All of this may strike some of you as a little silly, a little adolescent, a little department-of-inconsequential-information, as it Were But since When has it been a felony to be a little silly; since when a Federal offense to want to turn back the clock and let the past assail yoiir heart and perhaps even break it a little; since when has it been actionable to delight in the possession of the odd fact? Can a man be arrested for being prideful of his knowledge that Lois Moran v.ho was in the original “Of Thee* I Sing,” was the . inspiration for Rosemary Hoyt in Scott Fitzgerald's “Tender Is the Night?” Well, can he? Because if he can, then I should have taken it on the lam many years ago. Me, I am the sort of man who loves the odd fact and I occupy my time not only with the memory of valiant Art Acord, but of Eddie Polo as. well. The things i worry about! What two baseball players were voted World’s Series shares when their respective teams won the pennant but never received them? And why? Who was the Sweetwater Cyclone? And if those are beyond you, name the movie that uses the title of Cole Porter’s “Bad for Me’’ in a discussion of man’s moral decay. And while you are about it, tell me if you can— because I wish I knew the answer— why it is that all of us, all of us lovers of old and neglected show turies who are incessantly bemoaning the fact that they are neglected . . ; Why is it that we’d be simply livid if any of these tunes should ever make The Hit Parade. Shuberls Continued from page 4 emerges as the dominant figure or group ip the revised Shubert setup. Lacking definite word about the Government’s plans, it’s assumed that Federal Justice John C. Knox’s dismissal of the monopoly suit will be appealed tp the Court, of Appeals. Argument would presumably be that the case is riot similar to the Supreme Court’s rul-ing in the big league baseball suit. High tribunal decided in the latter instance that “basebands a sportand thus not within the scope of the antitrust laws. In tossing out the Shubert suit, Knox said, “In principle, I can see no valid distinction between the facts of this case and those which were before the Supreme Court in the case of Federal Baseball Club of Baltimore vs. New York Yankees, et al., decided by the Supreme Court verdict, the judge had said he would entertain a dismissal motion. Ironically, dismissal of the suit came just five days after the death of Lee Shubert, generally regarded as the dominant figure, in the Shubert empire and, as such,theprincipal target of the Government action. Also, according to well-informed quarters, the Shuberts had tentatively decided last summer to accept a consent decree in the case, but finally balked over actual terms. Specifically. Lee Shubert refused to ’divest some of the more valuable Broadway theatres, the imperial in particular. The suit, which had been slated for trial next morith, was originally filed Feb. 21, 1950. It named as defendants Lee and Jacob J. Shubert,Marcus Heiman and the United Booking Office, which he heads, and also the Select Theatres Corp. and L. A. B. Amusement Corp., Shubert subsidiaries. Complaint charged the defendants with violation of the anti-trust laws in conspiring to monopolize inter-state trade and commerce m the booking of legit attractions throughout the U. S.