Variety (January 1959)

January 7, 1959 Fifty-third P^RIETY Anniversary RADIO-TELEVISION 95 Video To No Avail With This Vox Pop| [SAGA OF A REAL ‘MR. DUBIOUS’] Bv ALLEN BORETZ Whenever an old man dies, an old man you’ve become accus¬ tomed to seeing around, another one of the same age and general ap¬ pearance seems to take his place. On the day I went to Anselm Pip. peric’s funeral (1878-1958) — that very afternoon I noticed his re¬ placement I couldn’t believe my eyes. Where did he come from? Where had he been when Pipperic occupied the space he was now Occupying? I have asked these questions of these carbon copies over the years only to be met with silence or irrelevant answers. u I let a few days go by to make sure I was not actually seeing a wish fullfilment spring into a mirage, but he was there. He came hobbling down the street, painfully and tortuously. He was very very wrinkled and his pace was very very slow. Since I had nothing to do, as I was vamping 'til ready, I de¬ cided to engage him in conversa¬ tion. “How are you?” I asked. He looked up at me from his twisted corroded frame with a pair of dappled tapioca eyes. “Much better,” he said in a voice that seemed to be coming from a plethora of oid rags. Mind you I had never seen this man until a few days ago but he was so old he had forgotten who he knew or in his ancient wisdom knew everybody. Perhaps it can be said of young men. when you know one, you know them alL “Have you been ill?” I asked. “Fell off the pier,” he said. “When was that?” I asked. “Twelve years ago,” was the reply. Twelve years ago, I realized at once I had a valuable thing here. Time was unimportant to him, in fact It had no meaning at alL Twelve years ago was like yester¬ day. Not like old Pipperic who knew, felt and counted every min¬ ute. TV That Doesn’t Work This was my chance to get a new viewpoint on things that were troubling me — as though I . had stumbled across the man from Mars. At my suggestion he agreed to the purchase of several bags of shelled peanuts and a rendezvous on a bench in the park, where we could feel noble while feeding pigeons. I half pushed, half car¬ ried him to the bench where I helped uncrease' him. A series ofjsrnall crackling noises emanated from his arthritic joints as he was lowered into place. Finally wC were seated side by side (as the song has it), My opening gambit (the Lopez type) was a rambling preamble devoted to modern devices that . made the life of retired people [ more bearable. j “I suppose you see a lot of tele j vision,” I said. 1 “Don’t look at it,” he said. ■ “Nothing works.” j “Oh, I said. “Your set is out of order.” ^ “The set works fine,” ho said testily. “The stuff they sell on it, that’s what don’t work. Had a head¬ ache four years ago and didn’t know what to do about it. Then I saw this commercial. The brain was in three sections. In one sec¬ tion there was a hammer beating it, in another section it' was being struck by lightining, and in the last section it was being squeezed by a pair of tongs. Well, I figured if this pill could get rid of light¬ ning, hammer and tongs it could take my headache and wipe it out without half trying. Mister, I took a whole box of those pills and now I got lightning, hammer and tongs going all the time.” “Have you been to see a doctor?” I asked. “What do I have to see a doc¬ tor for?” he asked with some acer¬ bity. “Four New York doctors proved that pill was 89% more ef¬ fective* Come to think of it they didn’t say more effective than what. Then there was this time I noticed a little stain in my bathtubs The hell with the stain, I said, but one time it looked like I might get married again, and I didn’t want this woman moving in thinking I was dirty. This was about two and and rubbed but that stain was there to stay. Then I saw this feller on the tv advertising some ; new powder. Mister, it was a mir¬ acle. He actually demonstrated the stuff right in front of my eyes. In one second he made that powder rub a stain right off his family escutcheon. That was enough for me. I went right out in a snow¬ storm and got a large economy size can of thatstuff and dumped it on top of the .stain in my tub. I got rid. of that stain all right I got a hole in my bathtub.” “And did you get married?” I asked. “No” he said. ’That woman didn’t want to marry a man who had a hole in his bathtub.” “Well,” I saidy ’‘the stuff may not work, but don’t you enjoy the programs?” “What programs?” ^e asked. “That’s the stuff that goes on between the commercials.” ‘That stuff Is worse than . the other stuff,” he answered, “keep seeing the same stuff over and over again. It’s full of sheriffs, crooks and lonely people.” “How about the jokes?'” I asked. “Peard them all,” hesaid. “Don’t you like singing and danc¬ ing?” I asked* “Too old to sing and oance,” he said. “I mean on the tv,” I said. “Oh,” he said. “No. I don’t like people two feet high carrying on like that. I like a woman tall enough to kick my hat off.” “Ah,” I said. “You like the liv¬ ing theatre.” "What theatre?” he asked. “Well, there are a few left,” I said weakly., “Went to some about three years ago,” he said. “The actors were lousy.” “You didn’t care for the per¬ formances?” "Nah,” he said. “They were all scratching themselves.” “Oh,” I said realizing I had a tartar on my teeth. “I couldn’t hear a word,” he con¬ tinued. ‘They were mumbling so loud. And when I heard what they were saying, I was sorry they stopped mumbling. Say mister. You’re a: young feller— don’t men like -women any -more?” “Why sure/’ I said. ‘They must. The population of the earth keeps growing by leaps and bounds.” “Not in the theatre,” he said. “Well,” I said, “Uiat’s hardly a place to — .” He didn’t let me finish. “I mean those plays,” he said. “When a man doesn’t love another1 I Closed-Circuit TV Invites $30,000,000 In Billings By NATHAN L. HALPERN ( President , Theatre Network Television Inc.) The closed-circuit communica¬ tions industry is closing out its 10th year. A year-end look shpws that in its first decade the medium has produced radical innovations that affect important segments of Amer¬ ican business, political and cultural life, j In business and industry, the closed-jcircuit communications sys¬ tem now enables management to reach across the country to dealers, salesmen, distributors, employees, stockholders, without anyone mov¬ ing from his own headquarters city. More than 200 corporations have used large-screen closed-circuits and more than $30,000,000 has been expended in connection with these telecasts. National and re¬ man, he’s amah having trouble be J 3ton_al company meetings that forcause he’s horrified to find he i required persona! travel by loves a woman. Then they sit | a11 Parties concerned now achieve down and talk it to death* You ! m Person” mipact by ever see ’Getting Gertie’s Garter?’ ” I electronic means. Closed-circuit n ▼ . . ... t*.. .. I tv allows complete privacy and its ^°* t. Did they t flexibility permits cross-country aa debate ^nd discussion by two-way VAN FOX Director of CONCENTRATION and HALLMARK COMMERCIALS ever get it?’ “You’re darned tootin’ they did,” he said. He looked around and whispered in my ear. “Got a lot more than that too.” “On stage?” I asked. “Well the curtain always came down on time,” he said. “But I’ll bet they had a high old time after¬ wards. Yep, that was a show. You couldn't get me into a theatre to¬ day mister, if I had to pay for it!” Pix — Kingsized TV “How about the movies,” I ven¬ tured. “What’s that?” he asked. I described the invention to him. “Oh,” he said. “You mean that oversized television. Mister, the last time I went was 12 years ago, just before I fell off the pier. I was dizzy. A. woman’s face came on about twa times the size of Man Mountain Dean and scared hell out of me. A fly crawling ud the picure fell into one of her pores and disappeared. I ran out of that place as fast as I could and headed for the river to cool off.” “What do you do to amuse your¬ self?” I asked. ‘Talk to damn fools like yon,” he. said. “Look at. you mister. You got on shoes that breathe, pants that, don’t wrinkle., a shirt that drips dry from everything but] your sweat which you are trying to. conceal with a deodorant that don't work. You got a peppermint breath, pom?de guaranteed to make the girls swoon, only I haven’t seen a. one come near you. (Continued on page 172) picture ^and sound. In 1958 the closed-circuit medium was used in several notable new Ways by business and industry. General Motors employed a 40city network op Oct, 15 to take its 20,000' dealers and executives throughout the country on a tour of the giant GM Motorama at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel before it opened to the public. In past years the Motorama was travelled, lock, stock and barrel, to a few cities, but this was the first time all GM deal¬ ers and executives were able to see the exhibit without leaving their business communities. The Pontiac Motor Division used closed-circuit tv in a new way, too. Just two days pricr to public in¬ troduction of its 1959 car, Pontiac linked 51 cities in a big national sales rally that “hypoed” enthu¬ siasm of dealers and salesmen, re¬ freshed their memories on advan¬ tageous features of the new car, and briefed them on effective sales approaches. Opening Pontiac's biggest sales push yet, the tele¬ cast brought together 12,000 deal¬ ers and salesmen. IBM’s 80-City Link _ 1958 alto saw the largest closedcircuit business session ever held, an 80-city International Business Machine Corp. Fall Kickoff Sales Meeting on Sept. 2 that reached all IBM Salesmen and executives in the United States. These telecasts were among the many produced and networked dur¬ ing the year by TNT, which created the format, wrote and directed the Don’t Look Now, But There Goes 9 58 Broadcasters Reflect On the ‘Year of the Potshots’ And Frustrations But Have Few Misgivings ^ About Its Departure ^SSSSSSSSS^^ By jo RANSON The nabobs of the networks and the doubtful custodians of quiz show questions won’t look back with unalloyed joy on the past 12 months in vexed video lane. To say the least, it proved a questionable period punctuated with gleeful city editors plastering eight-column banner lines over stories of murky quizzlings grilled in grand jury rooms, not to say anything of producers spittled and shackled much In the ugly fashion of A1 Capone and Willie Sutton. Indeed, it was not a fragrantly refreshing year for broadcasters. It was a year the networks’ quiz games were garnished with garlic and as the Gaelics express it: de pis en pis, meaning matters went from worse to worse, or wurst to wurst. . But every programming night¬ mare and weltschmerz has its com¬ patible-color lining, so to speak, and some broadcasters were re¬ stored to their No. .1 Trendex places in the blazing sun when they gave Joe Tempone, the NBC shoe-. . shine man, a' glittering gold watch a half years ago. Well, I rubbed 1 and certificate, cn the high solemn occasion of his 63th birthday and as he was about ta flourish Ills flannel gray doth on his ^55, 000th pair of broadcasting exec brogans in the minarets of the RCA Bldg. It was a year, too, that severely jolted the entreprenuers of Goth¬ am’s linen laundries. Faced with the heavy loss of biz in the rental of white jackets for announcers portraying the role of medical doc¬ tor in “digestive tract” filmed com¬ mercials, laundries were caught with their white pants down, not knowing exactly to whom to hire out their highly starched white linen stock. Meanwhile, back at the surgery tables in the Madison Ave. ad agen¬ cies, where the 15%ers had agreed with sawbone societies to layoff casting profess' onal performers as tv screen medics, the boys were busy shopping for bona fide Dr. Kildares and Dr. Christians. But, akaralgia and placebo, the medical societies were urging their mem¬ bers, particularly the younger ones with abundant Armour in their tibae and fibulae, not to succumb to the wily ways of the ad agency mob: think twice be'ere you be¬ come a pitchman for Foils Rolls or | Ex Lax, they exhorted the young medics. Practice medicine, and1 not advertising, and your reputation won’t be ruined, the high priests of the medical societies told the young Dr. Kildrres. Many saw¬ bones, it appears, were still sore as boils at the radio comics of yesteryear who had wheezed that doctors were so busy testing the T-Zone in Camel Cigarets, patients couldn’t get them to make any calls, night or day. As if video didn’t have enough troubles, along came Fire Commish Cavanagh’s incendiary charge that kitchen fires had increased by 90% in the Gotham area largely attri¬ buted to hausfraus who had been watching tv receivers instead of concentrating on their boiling por¬ ridge pots on the kitchen range. This hot blast from the fire de¬ partment, however, was somewhat alleviated by news from our British cousins that they had come to look upon tv as a boon to mental health because it. made viewers reduce their drinking and cigaret smok¬ ing. Undoubtally the most satisfield advertisers of the year were the (Continued on page . 174) programs. These shows vary tra¬ ditionally from a single speaker to an entire musical extravagantThe IBM telecast was a prime ex¬ ample of the business show “spec¬ tacular.” Twenty-seven top IBM executives “starred” in the onehour coast-to-coast program. The aim In these telecasts is to bring the most effective and progressive show business techniques to the presentation of the company mes¬ sage. An idea of the effectiveness of these communications sessions can be gotten from the fact that in 1958 the Chrysler Corp. pre¬ sented its eighth closed-circuit tele¬ cast, General Motors its fifth, sixth and seventh, IBM its third and fourth, and The Upjohn Co. its seventh. What is the future of closedcircuit to business meetings? For one thing, equipment and facilities have expanded tremendously. It is now possible to link 250 cities in a single telecast, and closed-cir¬ cuit business meetings of more than 100 cities will probably soon be commonplace. Great strides have been made in perfecting qual¬ ity pictures and sound and this progress will continue at an ac¬ celerated pace. Half a billion dollars are. spent annually in the U.S. on nation**1 , and regional business meetings oi all kinds. An annual market of $50,000,000 in closed-circuit tv meetings within a few years is a distinct likelihood. In politics, closed-circuit tv has introduced in its first decade a whole new concept for financing political campaigns. In the last presidential campaign, the Repub¬ lican National Ccmmittee was able to join together, through a closedcircuit network, 62 dinners (at $100 a plate) across the country in' a “Salute to Eisenhower,” with the President himself as • featured speaker. The nationwide dinner raised over $6,000,000 in one night — a record in political financing. Both the RepuVcans and the De 3*ocrats have been using the medium since. Postgraduate education in medi¬ cine by electronic means ID physi¬ cians across the country lias be¬ come a vivid reality. More than 750,000 doctors cumulatively have been wrought up to date in medi¬ cal developments through closedcircuit telecasts sponsored by pharmaceutical concerns. In the areas of government and national defense, a vital new com¬ munications system of virtually unlimited potential has been put into effect. The U.S. Strategic Air Command and the Federal Civil Defense Administration, among others, have employed large-screen closed-circuits for significant purposes. Other divi¬ sions of the Armed Forces are * turning increasingly to the medium to effect quick and simultaneous training and instruction cf widely scattered units. In the entertainment and sports areas, the only nationwide pay-asyou see attractions in the U.S. have been launched, tested and contin¬ ued through closed-circuit telecasts. Whlie “pay tv” has been hotly de¬ bated, pro and con, closed-circuit tv has been the medium through which more than 65 important at¬ tractions have been brought to theatres and auditoriums for pub¬ lic admission prices since 1949. Major prize fights, basketball, base¬ ball, the Metropolitan Opera and other entertainment events have been seen by more than 10 million people through closed-circuit pav tv. • *■ TOUCEWOMAN’ AS DETROIT SERIES Detroit. What Is being billed as Detroit’s first locally produced weekly half . hour dramatic tv program will debut Saturday (10) at 7 p.m. on WWJ-TV. It is titled: “Police¬ woman,” and will star Mady €c. rell, former Broadway and Hoi-, lywood actress, who has resided in*' Detroit the past three years. Shows will be live and 'will get their plot situations from the files of the Woman’s Division of ISk* Detroit Police Department.