Variety (December 1914)

VARIETY 31 ranging the horse blanket on top of it, and rolling his coat up for a pillow, he lay down on his improvised couch and pulling the blanket around him in a few minutes, so completely exhausted was he, he was sound asleep. How long he had been sleeping he could not tell, but gradually he be- came aware of a creaking and rum- bling noise. He raised his head and his. eyes almost started from their sockets as he beheld the lid of a box in close proximity to him, slowly rise and from its depth, emerge a lion; a lion of the most ferocious aspect. For a moment the property man was par- alyzed with fright, then, as he realized the impossibility of it, he groaned, "God, I've got 'em again." Slowly, but with stately grace, the lion lifted him- self clear of the box, sprang lightly to the floor. Mac continued to stare at the lord of the forest, and then suddenly whispered to himself, "My hon, why I'd know that lion anywhere! That's the lion I made for 'the Roger Bros, in Central Park/" Meanwhile other boxes and crates were being opened and from them came one after another a horse, a dog, and animals of all descriptions, and all making for an open space, almost di- rectly in front of poor MacLane, who by this time was rendered speechless with amazement, and could only stare, unable to utter a sound. As the various animals grouped themselves in a semi-circle, with the lion in the center, Mac heard a bump- ing and scraping and presently a full grown crocodile appeared from around the corner, leading to the stairs. By one's and two's they came. A camel, an ostrich, a pig and several more, until the space in front of the terrified man was filled with a jostling crowd of beasts, all made of linen, glue, wire, papier mache and wood. The last to arrive was an immense elephant that caused considerable trou- ble as the rest of the animals all had to shift to make room for his bulk. The tout ensemble now being com- plete, the lion gave a muffled roar and in a loud stage whisper called the as- semblage to order. Mac's surprise at hearing the beasts talk soon gave place to interest in their conversation. "We will resume," said the lion, "the discussion we had at our last meeting, as to why the human actors ignore us, who in many cases, fill more important parts in some productions than they do themselves. What would the show amount to with us left out of the bill? What would the Beauty have done if there had been no beast? Why there wouldn't have been any performance, that is all. They might as well have tried to play Hamlet, with Hamlet left out." "Yes," replied the Elephant, "the program announced DeWolf Hopper in 'Wang,' but it never said a word about me. Yet when we made our entrance together in the great ensemble in the first act, I and not Mr. Hopper received the plaudits of admiring thousands. Never had such a wonderful piece of stage property been created. The realistic movements of my trunk, my eyes, my ears, were sources of un- bounded admiration and enjoyment." "Here, here," cried the crocodile, "What I would like to ask is what would have prevented Captain Hook in Peter Pan from climbing back on board his vessel, after they had thrown him overboard, if I had not swallowed him alive. And did I not scare the bloodthirsty villain, in the second act so that he actually ran away. And to think we animals should be relegated to the oblivion of a rusty storehouse, when the season is ended, while the human performer is feted and petted and made much of." "It's terrible," said the Crocodile, "what we have to endure. For in- stance, one night in Fort Wayne, my crate became coated with ice in the alley where it had been placed. After the show I was put away in it, hauled to and loaded into a hot baggage car. When they unpacked me, in the next town, my head fell completely off. I leave it to you, my dear comrades, how I suffered. It took every minute of the time up to overture to fasten my head on again and it was a close shave at that. And that is not all. The man who worked me was the assistant property man; now he was a clever little fellow all right, but addicted to strong drink. About once in every two or three weeks, he would get a jag on and then how I would tremble and worry, for fear he would take me over the footlights into the orchestra pit." "That reminds me," said the Ele- phant, "some time after Mr. Hopper had discarded me and the rest of the production, we were doing one night stands with a repertoire company. While Mr. Hopper had the company. him to his senses and we went off the stage to be greeted by the irate stage manager." "Oh, why be so pessimistic," yapped a small voice. Mac looked and finally located the speaker in the person of a minutive pug dog. "For two long seasons," it continued, "I had the best of care and always traveled first class. You see it happened in this way: In the company was a little girl who did child parts and who was captivated with me at first sight. Nothing would do, but that she should have me, in place of the dolly she had left at home. So barring the time at night the prop- erty man claimed me to do my bit in the 'Princess of Trebizone' I was with my little mistress, stopping at the best hotels and was always kept neat and clean." "I shall never forget," said a large dog, "how one night in St. Joe a face- tious grip fastened me with a stage screw to the floor by my tail, as he was setting the scene. Although the pain was excruciating I dared not ut- ter a sound. When it came time for me to go on I tugged and struggled, but in vain. At last with a violent wrench I tore myself loose, but in doing so I pulled up the screw that held a stage brace, which supported a heavy piece of scenery and as I made my entrance there was a deafening crash and down on the stage piled a great mass of broken timber and torn canvas. They had to ring down the curtain of course and it was more than half an hour be- fore the show could proceed." Mae AUBREY and RICHE Estelle. Songs, dances, novel and exclusive. Acknowledged by managers, agents and public the daintiest, most artistic comediennes playing big time vaudeville. Offering their up-to-the- minute Venetian feature, an exacting elegance in black and white. Direction M. S. BENTHAM. Staged by AD NEWBURGER. I always had the same legs; but when I was let out on royalty, in every town we played I had a different set of legs. Well, on one particular occa- sion I had for my forelegs a young lad who had never been behind the footlights before. Believe it or not, but covered as he was, in looking through the gauze peephole in my chest, he saw his folks and friends in the audience, and, forgetting that they could not see him, he became obstinate or stage frightened and at our rue to exit, he refused to move and there we stood, while the whole show was held up, until finally the hindlcgs by x-.por- ous language and punches, 1 -roughi "As chairman of this meeting," roared the lion, "I demand that we cease digressing and get back to our original subject. In 'Evangeline* did not the Heifer play as important a part as most of the humans?" The horse gave a loud neigh. "I neigh," said he, "an affirmative, para- doxical as it may seem. Of course you all know that I, far beyond any- one here, attained fame and glory as the nbhorse in 'Eight Bells.' I've tr.i.L 1 d to the coast and back so many t.nu that in some cities the property 1 i ' ■ could put me together without ii. ,' .■-." tion from the company's man. tl i !c I may say without fear of be- ing considered egotistical that I am undoubtedly the most famous and best known property animal in this whole " He was not allowed to finish. First a murmur arose, then they commenced to shout harsh words at the descendant of Pegasus and suddenly, as if by pre- arrangement, the entire assemblage rushed upon the decrepit old horse and in less time than it takes to tell it they had battered him into a limp mass. Their angry . passions thus aroused, a general and heated argu- ment followed and eventually it be- came a riot. The lion quit its post and engaged in a terrific combat with the crocodile. A zebra and a donkey- endeavored to kick each other's ribs loose, while the elephant, lifting one at a time, several of the beasts, threat- ened to annihilate them unless they agreed with him. Pandemonium broke loose and poor Mac who had been a most interested listener and who had entirely forgot- ten his previous fears now began to tremble in anticipation of an attack upon himself. The melee was at its height and some of the smaller ani- mals practically hors de combat, when suddenly a chanticleer's call, heralding the approach of day, rose high and shrill above the tumult of the affray. Instantly every beast and bird stood as if of graven stone. For perhaps thirty seconds, they remained motion- less and then silently the meeting dis- persed. Those animals that had come from other storehouses, quietly wend- ed their way to the stairs, while those that had their habitat in the Able Co.'s building noiselessly retired to the se- clusion of their boxes and crates. For a few minutes Mac lay and thought of the ttrange happenings of which he had been a witness, but grad- ually the recent events became a blur in his mind and he relapsed into un- consciousness. How long he slept thus peacefully, he does not know, but he was awak- ened some time later by the watchman shaking him and saying, "Hey, Mac, time to get up and see what Bill, the driver, sent you by his brother—a half caser. He says he don't forget how you helped him when he was down and out, and for you to get a bite to eat and come up to his house; here's the address." Mac arose with stiff joints and ac- companied the watchman down stairs, where he again bathed his face before starting out. It would be too long a story to tell how Mac after a short struggle with himself partook of coffee and food in- stead of whiskey and how he went to Bill's, the driver's house, where he was taken in, decently clothed and fed and cared for until he regained some of his strength. How with the help of Bill and his wife he overcame his fail- ing, while seeking employment and afterward, too, how he, step by step, remounted the ladder, until now Ed Mac Lane is again recognized as a master in his line. He often thinks of his dream as he works on some fero- cious animal and smiles and wonders if it too will attend the meetings in Abie's and listen to and relate expe- riences of the road.