Variety (Mar 1929)

Wednesday, March 27. 1W9 TIMES SQUARE VARIETY 4S ijnst a Lettnr to Joe Slch About "Cyi^o^" Much Swollen Schnozde workln In a pichur© house •nd I BO on every Wur on the hour. Sltwe^n times I *a8t© the ole hour riass by flggerlne out new gaga that these morun audiences wlH SndersUnd. Tou hear a lot about what's wrong with the theater these aaya . . . Some of them blame it on the talkies and some of em Wamo It on the vlsltln English <iriUcs. But me. I blame It on art Honest, lost week I saw a turkey that coulda been a smash with a little fast routeenlng. Remember the- Colonial ... the house at Broadway near Ned Way- burn's finishing school? We played It on a Sunday night a few years hack when we got in off the Poll tfee. Well It alnt the Colonial any- • inore. It's named after a guy named Walter Hampden, I dropped In their the other evening. The door aian recognizes me and give me the professional prlvalege so I • parks In the rear an& see whats «aied "Cyrano- do Bergerac"—no Xoolln—I got the pogrom right here and that spellings the McCoy. When he started oK on this rou teen I thot ho was gonna lay an «gg but I stuck it out to the bitter ' end and be. finished in the money With the wise mob, mostly short linir dames with long dresses and long haired guys short on long green. It's a costume play aome- thln like those afterpieces we used to hoke up. And meddyevll 1£ you get what I mean. Cyrano has got a swollen schnozzle that'd make jimmy Durante look like Davey Xee. He belongs to the home guards In Paris and he's that way over a «utle that's called Roxanne. She's ' z^tful on the optics but an awful strain on the gray matter because she's sold down the river on the pan of a pretty guy with as much btalns as a big shot at Belle view Egg Gets the Works . To liven things up as the opera opens Cyrano gets one of the Park : Aven.oo mob In a lather by break- ing up a benefit performance and glyies this egg the works In a dool ~ -^ain the time he's making up i song. Nothln to make Buddy De Syiva worry but he scares the nobles and presence who all scram leaving him alone on a full stage. Here he shoulda gone Into one but ' lit come this dame Roxy's stage mamma and makes a date to meet blm on the Roo San Hurray at - some Coffee Pot after Father Leon ard's In the morning. He thinks he's doo for a break so to wet his appatlght he exists to do a Max Schmeling and it's a blackout Here I was thinkin of going down to the N. V. A. for a laugh but when get to the street its enowin so crawl back. Anyhoo In the Coffee Pot theys I>anch of the boys slttln' around dunkin their eashweights in Java When In comes the love Interest In purple trench coat. Cyrano thInkIn she's that way over him is about to drop on his Jolsons and holler mammy when she starts to do nlppups about his arrow collar ad that's Just enlisted In his out- fit So Cyrano does a Laugh Clown Laugh bit and she uscrays to make '■■ room for the onsombul. I forgot to iay that Cyrano has staged a little pogrom the night before and the dead and Injured look like a New Haven excursion train before John Coolldge taught them the dlfferenta between tracks and ties. They want to give him the keys to the city but because of his heavy heart he turns thumbs down on the ■ Walker-Whalen gang and chases all the presence out . . . everyone ex- cept this bunch of boy scouts he belongs to. They want the low down on—the massacker I mean— ■o he starts in to tell It when this little twurp the gal's dizzy over, the pretty guy, starts to Interrupt and give him the bum-up about his schnozzle. He's Just about to write another lousy lyric and drum up trade for Woodlawn when he sav vies that this Is the hombre the gal Rpxy has went for, so he sorta pulls oft the false whiskers and wlsea up the kid that he's got the Insldo track with the dnme. They BQ Into a huddle ?tnd. Cyrano agrees to double in print for . the Juve Christy by name. They strike a bargain that lets Cyrano do the . ghost writing and slip the phrall the sweet and tender treatment via the air mall or what have you. In Act III the author, whichever hta name , is, does a Mel Klee and Mfts that balcony bit from Shakes- pere's Romeo and also Juliet. There's Roxanne leanlni' out of a lot of Crane plumbing off her bed- room In her robe de noot and Christy la flopping all over the apron try- ing to John Gilbert his weekly wage. He's gettin' by like a male guest at the Martha Washington and she's so dlssapemtcd that she's Just about to empty the Pekinese and leave a call for the morning when Cyrano comes in like an auctioneer. So far she ain't had a thrill that she couldn't tell her mother about but honest Joe, then this guy Cyrano lets loose. Don't forget Cyrano is nerts about Roxy so nachurally his line of patter clicks and she Invites him into the office. Up the ladder goerf Christy, who's had as much to say for himself as the class orator at a deaf ani dumb school. Then In comes a guy whose supposed to be a Friar, according to the program. He didn't look to me like no Friar, and would be black- balled pronto if he tried to crash the Lambs. Anyways he's carrying a letter from the commander of the local Camp Upton Count de Goose saying he's panting with desire and how would she like his pants? So Roxy uncorks a fast one and makes this dhn-wltted Friar think it's In- structions to marry her off to the pretty-pretty so they can go Into the house to get sealed. . Cyrano runs interference for Christy and Roxy and when the count tries to get around left end he falls under his feet and does a nut act called "Me and the Man In the Moon," with additional lyrics and patter from a prominent Inmate of Bellavyoo. The Count thinks he's Just another guy thats been Inhalln' Sterno so he stalls around 'till its too late and upsadalsy . . . out comes the blushln' bride and t^e gent that's Jokingly called her bet ter half by people who don't know fractions. The Count is the head man in this doughboy outfit so he does a Desmond when he's foiled by the gal. Bends the fall guy bus band and Cyrano out to Chateau Thierry for the week-end. Out there the rooral free delivery ; ain't so hot and Cyrano has promised the dame that he'll stand over her hus- band with a whip and make him write to her so every day he does his ghost writing for this prize- package and at night crawls through the barbed wire entangulmence to the newest p. o. station. Chow Is pretty bad and the soldiers are cry. ing as If they'd Just spen the Sing- ing Fool, when who should come rolling In on the crest of a wave but Salvation Nell herself . Lady Bountiful, in other words Roxy (not S. L.). She's frothin' at the mouth to comer Christy In some sound-proof studio. So she becomes mascot for the gang while she and some bakery store owner from the village do a Mr. Zero to these bums and give 'em everything but the check. Gives Her De Poipers Cloaing Prices Times Square Hotels Slap Poor with Utapaid BUls l Miami Beach, March 21. Merry-go-round that was Miami I he slay a Jones law violator, who this season is all washed up de- might attempt eluding arrest spite efforts of the realtors, hotel "Aga.ln, since It la the law that and- apartment operators and I all persons cognizant of a felony are 'chamber of commerce ballyhooers bound to report It or be culpable to sell a "stay until May" slogan. of a felony themselves, everyone All In all a great season for Miami with knowledge of a Jones law vlo- and Miami Beach, with that section latlon must Inform the authorities, A German physlclao, an engineer piorlda the last frontier of per- or be themselves guilty of a felony, and a Jobless salesman were ar- sonal liberty In the U. S. If One's father, mother, brother or ralgned separately In West Side Spot was the melting pot for all best friend breaks the Jones Jaw Court before Magistrate William '-l" *° mllUonalres it ta your duty to report It. ' this winter. | Those pleading guilty to viola- tion of the Jones law, irrespective Farrell on charges of being hotel beats. All denied the charges for By some accident this egg Christy suddenly realizes that the cream in Roxy's coffee is the writer of the hotsy totsy love letters and he calls for a showdown with Cyrano. By now Cyrano has come to. . . and realizes that she goes for him In a vulgar way and he's Just about to come clean and trust In God and Fannie Brice's plastic surgeoji when a stage hand shoots off his air rlflle and knocks the gal's husband deader than the Charleston. Cyril, seein' as how she never knew the tropth and that she's still nerts about, her husband, even though they never did go to Niagara Falls, figures he better keep his mouth shut sb he gives her the kid's last letter and goes off stage to chew on a lozenge 'till they set the next scene. It's laid in convent. They's a bunch of show girls walking around the stage who ain't worked since Morris Gest did •■The Miracle" and there in the back yard Is Roxanne. Time Is 14 years later and she's still liummln torch songs for the gold star In her window. Finally In comes Cyril ^.-mir3~pfettynjld no w -." —r-and' It. seems he's been on the staff of the local sophall.st rag Klvln' the capltle guys with money the needles. So In he comes at six daylight saving for their weekly visit he ain't missed all this time, nor been late for, and she don't know It . • • Ij"* some mugg has done an Al Capone / Miami, March 26. Finish of the season had the following quotations: Glh—Gllbeys, Nelson's White Satin, Walker's London Dry, $4 quart. ■ ■ . Beer —Beck's, Patzenhofer, Drcsslers, Bull Dog, Tennent's, $1.2S per bottle, Rum — Blcardl, 18; Three Dagger, $6.50 quart Ports and . Sherries — Dry Sack, ^9; Sandeman's, $5 quart. Champagnes—Heldsleck Dry Mon^^le, Cliquot, Monople, Mumm's Godon Rouge, Chas. Heldsleck, Lanson's, %10. Scotch—Vat '66, $6.60; Halg and Halg, Buchanan's, Johnny Walker, $7; King Cole, Old Smuggler, Green Stripe, Clan Campbell, Old Monarch, White Heather, Gordon Plaid, Gavin .Dick, $6 quart Rye—Old Oyerholt, Walker's, Old Cutler, BUtmore, Four Roses, Lewis Hunter, Pebble- brook, Golden Wedding, $6 quart. Everybody's Guest Now Deadheaded by State John Arnold, Jr., 28, who for the past six monutii.s has been doing Broadway, flashing big bankrolls and posing as '"Lieut Jack Arnold of tlie Army Air Service," was sen- tenced to the Penitentiary to ■ a term not to exceed three years by the Justices of Special Sessions. He had pleaded guilty to passing rubber checks. Specific complaint against Arnold was made by Schwab the Florist, who claimed Arnold hnnded him a Jurist on Nite dub Floor Tells Jones Law Angles A learned Jurist volunteered a few poignant i-cmurks pertaining to the Jones Law when the m. c. of a bum check tor $23 for a purchase : njg,,t ^ly^ ]„ the BO's called upon of flowers for a lady friend. Other jhe guests to entertain the other I similar complaints, according to n,ght. Among the enlightening ob- ' Probation Ofllcer Jacob Llchter, gg^vatlons he made were: were received from Brill Brothers, . . , , , , Rogers-Peet and Hilton's from ^ ' MoSt of the victims of this law, whom he obtained aviator outfits, "^'ne unable to pay a $10,000 fine. The probation omcer learned also J;"] obliged to work it out in that Arnold had "gyped" numerous Federal prison at the customary night clubs and Broadway"speaks" ™te of $1 a day. Thus aside from with the phoney paper but these fjft^e^yf*" penalty they will 'get 10,000 days, or 82 years In Jail. Since the violation of the Jones Law is a felony, any person, officer or citizen may use all necessary force even to the taking of human life to prevent the escape of a felon. An officer Is thus Immune should refused to press complaints. Miami Beach Matrons employed at game rooms of punishment accruing, becomes a various reason. They gave their I here have been slipped a new mon- felon, perpetually being disqualified no^o- o« Tiroi»«i. TjowT^or, n^r^BT, lo)ieT. WIs© mob call the elderly from holding any public office, un- names as Walter Bowman, German 1,^^^^ "Cheer-up Annies." It's their less pardoned; disqualified from D., owing the Hotel Paramount I juty t,, the girls powdering Jury service forever, unless par- $69; William Richards, engineer, | their noses, after taking It on the- doned, and disbarment If a lawyer."- charged with owing the 44th Street chin in the casino, how much Mr. Speaker went further into analy* Hotel tias and William Zeller lob- S° *® before, sis of the situation by showing the Hotel $133, and WlUlam Zeller, Jon ^^^^ applies only to frails who are Jones law Imposes greater punish- less salesman, owing Uie Hotel Clar- ^j,y. game room technique. I ment than any other federal law Idge $116. Those who have been around, for more serious offenses. He said: Richards was discharged. He Is when handed a $100 or so by the "There is but a maximum two-year II J *_ ^^^t^^^t^A tii^ Mil boj^ friend, usually stick at least penalty for a Juror accepUng bribes; alleged to have contracted the bill | ^^^^ ^^^^ ^j^^ ^ maximum of three years for del with the balance. | structlon of public documents; one year maximum for corrupting wlt- Bbibassy Club still busy under Inssses; maximum penalty of one year direction of Frank Ford. Expects for kidnapping a' sailor; one year _ to continue well Into AprlL Miller maximum tor assaulting, wounding, short of cash, promised'to make.! and Farrell have Joined the abow or beating a Federal officer, or In- good the bill If given the chance. I after being In demand for private Iterferlng with court process, and a Representatives of the hotels dls-1 parties during the season. maximum of one year for extortion played no desire to drop prosecu- Billy Mann and the Yacht Club | by public officers." tlo„_ Boys are out, also Johnne Clare, Fred Wobett, 23, acrobatic dancer English singer, who returned to who has been stopping at the Man- England on the Leviathan, March battan Hotel, was also arraigned In SO. West Side Court on charge of fallr ^ „ Ing to pay a board bUl of $;2B. Wo-I Hoboken, famous for German In 1927. A friend came to court with the engineer and they left to get the kale to make good. Bowman will have a hearing. Zeller, out of a Job a^d apparently bett wired home, much against his food, beer and Christopher Morley s wishes, and got the dough. Sum- operas, also the spot where most of mens was dismissed. Wobett said the game room layouts used here he had been a member of the Talbot | this season are manufactured, and had torn a leg THIEVES' STIFF RAP I Get Plenty for Robbina Theatrical Roortiing House Kenny act and had torn a muscle. Since which be has been | unable to work. BUS CO. BABZBUTT Luna Cars, Inc., familiar Times Square rubberneck omnibus system 162 W. 42d street has been petl tioned into bankruptcy. Minna Kuperschmldt, adminis- tratrix of Abraham Kuperschmldt, claims $6,720 as balance on Judg- ment for $9,220, obtained Jan. 30, 1929, "for wrongful death of dece- dent $60,000 are alleged. Most of the croupiers or game room dealers In Miami cltUm Provi- dence as their home town and rest there between resort seasons. Op- erators of tbe rooms this season, however, hailed from every section. One mob has a-summer place around Detroit, while the Jersey shore. Long Island, French Lick and Saratoga were well represented. Over at Palm Beach, the Colony Club, Arthur Hands' class outdoor night life sppt, has closed after a Prrfei^tT^^lJ^^mVntV'of Successful Initial season. Improve. t^j 'ments planned for next season should help to establish the garden night club as a permanent feature of Palm Beach life. New supper club had no opposl tlon this season and drew a strictly on him from a second-story window and he's ready for the^river, ^ They talk about uhlmporUnt 1: J^^gg"'^,,]^ .^Yt,i"ia-nle'H^^ things like the new traffic Plan, Murray Smith, bar! who's expecting a blessed «vent K^^g what squaw has gone phfft with Looey dot Dope the king, and all of a sudden with the Pee Tees. What's Long terms.In Sing Sing prison were handed out by Judge Morris Koenig In General Sessions to two stlckup men who raided a theatrical boarding house at 121 West 47tb street last December. Ralph Magrlnl, 27, was sentenced to twenty years, and Victor Slnl- telU, 21, was given a term of from ten to twenty years. The two men, armed with guns, entered the rooming house on the evening of December 16, lined the Inmates and .cleaned up about $600. They were chased as they left the place and caught by policemen two blocks away. The- specific charge on which, the men were Indicted was for the theft of $260 from Ben- jamin Silver during the holdup. The prisoners were Identified as former attendants at the State Hos- pital for the Insane at Central Isllp, L. I. They were discharged from that Institution In 1926 for cruel treatment of Inmates. Hai-ry Rosenthal, who closed with Mann at Casanova Billy Mann and his Tacht Club .r,»Mt«tWW^^ orchestra at the Club Lido, Boys, Just back from the Embassy, f ?/,?5l«in^^i othei /u^s^^ Beach, went to Palm Beach Miami, open tonight (Wednesday) wrote to her usln the other M j,, ^est and grabbed off half a dozen Lt the Casanova club and double name and gives himself away., . nrlvate nartlea well, Roxy Is quick about those | ^atea fo r private parties. things, so she realizes wliat a sucker she's been all these years, but there's no- ftavin' Cyril, and. honest to gawd it's sad. AVell, there story in a hutshell CHANGE OF MINB S. Sam Schwartz Is changing his. policy of Sam's, the former non you've got the I convert eating place on West . Just a.brief Eighth street. In the basement of outline of what's going on on iBroad- the new IHm Arts' Guild theatre, way now. So If you waniia know Schwartz Is slapping on a couvert wh.-ifs wrong with , the theatre and going nlte club. Straight din think it over and Just contrast It Iiig-and-dancing gag didn't cllclc with them old days when tbe 9th Change also Includes a new mon avonuc>gansjjsed-,to.gfit .Cflll.uaM..on Ijcker^thjU^^ their palms when we laid 'em out In man os m. c, supported by Imogcnc the isles at the late show. Well, Coca from tho Sliver Slipper,,Gar- Baby . be glad to see you. I'm net O'Brien, lato of the Club Plaza, till the Palace plays three a and Mitzl Rich, blues warbler I Into the RKO Palace starting Sun day. Lou Shurr booked them Into I the nlte club to succeed Van and-.^ Schenck, who continue RKO book- ings. Ohman and Arden, the planolog- Ists from "Spring Is Here," and Helen Kane will be co-attractions, along with Jerry Friedman's or- chestra and that Argentine en- semble. i Miami Flicker Repeat "The FrTara ailaml-Frbllc pictures will be shown for a second time Saturday night at 11:30 at the club, with no admission. Members may day ■ and'i ha^ Tdate Myl" " 71 water Feldkamp band will officiate I bring guests: stag only. Supper aaj. ana noa a FarreJl. after theatre for dancing when the | will be served. (Of Farrell and CarreU . . . always couvert obtains; the Damar Gypsy working . . . thaax to Abe PIncus).! orchestra plays for dinner. The dcrnand for a second exhlbl- 1 tlon prompted this repeat