Variety (Dec 1929)

46 VARIETY TIMES SQUARE Wednesday, December 25, 1929 Inaccurate Biographies CLAYTON, JACKSON and DURANTE By Claude Biiiyon The "Variety" muger addressed Bway's trio of philosophers collec- tively. "Where at," he asked, "was yoiise born?" Lou (Innle) Clayton looked at Jackson. Eddie (Minnie) Jackson looked at Durante. Jimmy (Moe) Durante looked like a Belgian rid- ing to .hpunds. "I loVe you," DUrantie said. sim- ply. Clasping, the /"Variety" re- porter to his • hosoxn, he • kissed,. Jiim tenderly with warm, red lips. There was silenpe^Jor a mpmentk. • . • • • "I puppose,'; said the. ^Variety" niugg quietly, "there will he t^e usual legal formality? We will be married Jn.the city hall, I take It?" "Okay, piodner," says Durante. VI ^list want.ed .tuh see if youse could take it." Jle th^ew his hat to the flobr and reached for. another." Nobd.dy .lat»gh|ed; Ho thre^ that hat to the floor arid reached for another. iNobody laughed; "I am defeated/' he sMd sullenly. ••There appat'eritly Is tio market foi' buffoonery here. - I shall relapse Into a cultured gentleman bncie again. " So' saying, he grabbed his - nose by the throat and choked it to death.. .. .Ga'e of laughter. "Ah,". sighed Durante. ?fliaughter —how I love it!" He grabbed his npse by the throat and choked it to death again. Nobody laughed. , Durante muttered. Question Answerei '.'What?" answered Clayton and >|'ackson. "AreVyou three lousy bums?" asked the mugg. , . "I speak for myself,"; replied Jtickson. "I am a.mammy singer, raised, on Aunt. Jemima's huckwheat cakes .'way 'down south. Possibly these other two bums are lousy." ■ • "I ain!t," retorted Lou "Clay ton. "I am a dancer-^a tap dancer, as^ we "of the 'elite affectionately call' It." He smiled loftily.^ "! am a tap dancer,", he repeated, smilingly rather uncertainly. Durante gazed at hini - cynically. Clayton's face became suffused with a blush. "All right," Lou conceded, "I'm a hoofer." "And what a. hoofer!" exclaimed Ja:ckson. "I get yuh, pal—I get yuh," mut:- t^red Clayton. ' "About' muhself," . interpolated Durante, "! was born - in deah ole Kaintuck, on Bar Z rancih, Gawgia. I am-a suthenuh. Muh people was poor," biit they loved theah Jimmy and sent him to t'ree . collldges. " .'. "After m.uch educashun had been developed I looked, about for a ca;- reer, I.wahted to be a awthtir, but the publick was callln' fer me and muh songs." Called Jimmy "What was they callln', Jimmy boy?" asked Jackson. "I dinha ken," mumbled Jimmy sadly. "It vmn a foreign tongue they was speakln'." He sighed. VSo I sang," he said. "I give *em my all. I poured muh^ heart out-^ and they laughed." His eyebrows shot up Indignantly. "They laughed nt Durante a-glvln* his all!" "What time Is It," asked Clayton. "We'll • miss our subway," said Jackson. "We're playln* a Bowery benefit for a free flop." "Cease!" cried Durante. ^"Listen to the story of Jlmimy Durante, the artiste!" . "Huh?'^ said Clayton, dvhlously; Durante took a prattfall to at- tract attention^ Dusting himself^ he continued: 'The free of us has come up to- gether. We has played yaudyviUe, legltanlt, cabarets, Murphy's Bath and . pictures. But we remains the 3ame lovable felluh's we always was." Emotionally ho kissed each of his partners. ■ Durante was sobbing, "We are pais," he whimpered. ' "They may kick us aTid bruls"e' our pale white- faces, but wo Is pals." "Gue^s ru go," said the Variety mugg'. He walked to the door and quietly closed it on the riotous ^cene of mother love. He heard kicks and muffled ' groans- as ho stumbled Into the «lean, fresh air. Mother love! ; .-; Gad! By 9^ N. BEHRMAN ^ ^ ^ GVILD Thea;; 62nd St.i -Wi of <B'w»y' "BTta. SiSO. .Mate; Than.'*- .Sat.i t:40 RED RliSt By Kj^lCHON & fOUSPENSKY^ 'SiABTIN .BECk Tli«a., fS^'. ft^Sth At. Etss. 8:4«. Mat*, ilrars, &. Snt.', t:40 LOtfi ^lid PEftTH By ROMAlN RQLLAND BILTMOBE TH., 4'7th St., W. :Ot B'r Eyga, 8:50. Mat*. .Tharii. ft Sdt., 8:40 RFl A<!if'rt n>e*-' 44th' St. -Em, 8.:l0.' .P^'M^W.Mats.; Thure. FrU; Sat, 2:40 DAVIB BEtA^CO "Tre^nt* Ifs&WiseOil A N«w Comedy, by Laarencfl B. tlohnaoa AtrnW Theatre. W. 46th St Ktm.' StCO avUiN Mali. Wed., Thurs. & S»t.. SlOCT . Dir.- A. )L. Eirlans«r BreipkjPtmbtrton Pr«ient« Stricdy Distionorabk bomedy Hit Pretton Sturmii StARed bi AntolnMt* l*erry ft Mr.' Pembtrte]!" RKOTHIAIRR kei'th'SI mm KYANT; BOO TED LEWIS .. RiCMARD^ BENNETT : HELEI^ FORD Herb WIIIUns:-QUnn A-Jenkini Sylvia ClaiK; The HaiKere .. Stage • ■ (Continued from page 19) York rbecamo aware of their exist ehce and began showing Interest in them as box office, attractions Pub- liz was the bheeir leader for the .'pres6hta:tldii. Idea and. ^through the circuit's furtherance^ tjti'e! presehta^ tloh ultimately {^ined' an Inrbiad in ithfe ea<i.'' ;■ . ■■ * ■ ■ ■ ; But has New York (eveir gone into rabtfires about presentations, ior anythinef else for' tliat matter? The aiis'wef Is obyIi>us '. In" a' metropolis where a bored'populace mistakes ennui for soplilisticatloh arid the sii perflcial for the real Little B'way Intorest Ai . for the ' presehtatjion thing proper, Broadway .has shown less interest In its ..development than any other and .less important stei^ in the show .world. Over thie length and breadth of the street therer are only three .presentation ;houses; JACK DEMPSEY pe^^n JAMES J. COR&ETT ani NEIL 0*BRIEff ■ Slielly Hett Revue: OUier Aof* . m AVE. Wednesday te' Frliiayr Deo. .25 to. 27 HARRY. CAR.ROI,L and Hl> .DIf .R«v'ub Herbert Fwe: Boyd Sehfw; Other* - -BUDDY RQGER8-^AII Tallt. . "HALF WAY TO HEAVEN" COR LEX ■ AVE Wednesday te Frtday, Oee.. 2S to 27 • weaver' BROTHERS ^ „„„ BOY ROGERS: '^W^HOMJE FOLKS' BUDOY ROGERS^AII Talk, "HALF WAY TO HEAVEN" PBEMTEBE SBOHVlKO at STBAND Prices "THE Gntii Alice WHITE in frL WOOLWORTH'S" STREEt SCENE ^OVES From PIAYHOPSE to ANOTHER THEAVBE on FRIDAY, DEC. 27 ; Kxtra New Tear'* tVeek Maildeea 3Ion., Taes., and-Sat. i For further inforhiation see daily papers ARTHUR HOPKINS Presents ''HALF GODr A New Play by Sidney Howard JriiXjaUUXil.iiTos, 8:50. Mats. TUurs. & Sat. 60th St A 7th Ave. Oir, 8. L. Rothafei (ROa<, ^WUllain jros.PiMeatB , , Flrit TIM* at Popujar Price* . ' «GHRISTINA'^ witli JAhET aAV«6R-talklni t Semiitl6aal.XinB»"Ah»a^^"Bak*i' In^ th* Weetf"—"WeMIni af tb» Painted Doll"— Other Nml Featuret—MIdnliht 9h*w ROXY O X The Princess of Pep. In An^tlier' • An Talking Ef'lT New Tork .Q Warner Bros, n ^ ' > T RA N ^^ ^ '^ Mldnite SUow 11:30 -Bklyn 9 WARSrtlB BROS. I * -^ITAPHONE HITS *. ■ JOHN' ■ ■ ■ ■ BAIWYMORE ' in Hia' First Talking Picture '^GENERAL CRACK" Warner Broa.I Dally, 28 i4B .B'way * 5 24. | Sun., 3, 6, 8:45 GEORGE ARUSS Ih ^'DISRAELI Central Theatre I Dally, 2 :41;. 8:4B n'xfVj & 41th St. I Sun., 3, 6, 8i4B ''The Mysterious Island'' Teohnleoier; Dlalo'iiie and Sounf ■ with LlentI Barrymore and Lloyd Hughee On the Stage: I/OU HOLTZ In ."I.iCB^ANW," . Arthur Knorf'a Colorful BxlraTaganza Capitol (Grand' Orcliostfa, BuncUtik conrtucttng I^AlPri'Of ^ ^laior Eafsoweai, V/r^» Jl * Mng. Director HOUND THE SQUARE • Where'8 the Publicity Anole? Report from Hollywood has It that femme screen stars, led by Biiii© Dove and Corlnne Griffith, are organizing clubs In behalf of the perma. nence of ishort skirts, In answer to film land's currently adopted fashion cratse for trailing and swishing garments. Screen girls contend that the abbreviated dresses not alone, provide ffeedon^ of movement and physical comfprt, biit allow a great deal" of expression In setting oft shapely figures. feurprisina Father, Far Away . Horace Brahm and his wife, Gladys, held a recorded conversation last- ing two and one-half minutes In Mrs. Benjamin Caruso's studio. New York. . The finished disc was sent toi Mr. Brahm's father, ill In an English hospital, jis a Christmas remembMince. As Brahm, Sr., has never .seen his daughter-in-law, the talk may be a temporary substitute. Mr. Brahm Is with ."Street Scene," going to Chicago with the switch of the show's companies. A Double-CroM at. Sea Wheii Flo Macfadden sailed on tiie "Mohawk" with her cabaret show troupe of girls, for the Keeney racetrack lat Jacksonville, Miss Macr faidden and Joey Benton, secured a stateroom suite. .After the first dlay they' did not care so much for the rubber, necking table collection, so decided to have ail of their meals In the roorii. A rule of the ship is that no meals may be served In sta,terooms unless through Illness. Miss Macfadden told Miss Benton she had better take the slap for that a.nd send out a seasick call. At the first Indoor meal/ the steward Informed Miss Benton just what she could eat ^hen sea- sick and stuck around to see she didn't eat anything else. Joey's full meal was tea and toast, with Flo making It double for her portions. • The boat's officers; said they had never heard of anyone recovering from severe fiitjUick. of seasickness! as quickly as ^id Miss Benton. She was all over the dining robrd" table for the next meal. Pinpiis 3ent Into Panic • Joe Plncus, Al Woods and Alan. Dwaa returned from Parl^ on the last tempestuous trip of the .''Bremen," The .boat was nearly three days overdiue, delayed by storms at sea. Its passengers thought they had stood about the limit, just'before. It abated. At Its peak Plnciis received a wireless telling him to prepare to return on the same boat, sighed by Winnie Sheehan, and the wire isaid Shee- han would go with him. ■ Innocently, unknowing of the frame between W#pds .and Dwan, through which he got the yrlreless, Plncus eoiiferred * witii them^ Be avowed never, not on that boat; ■ His compantoits con- doled with Plncus, but finally £^dvised that orders were prderi; he had better, be a good soldier. ' ' • \ *• After 24 hours of this arguing and with PinpuB dying worse each time, he at last succumbed;, Plncus wirelessed SheehiUk lii^l^ew. T6r^ would go back with him and not take~ hlis: It|f fll^re' off the ship. Thitt doubled up the fraihe, sl^ce Sheehan had tab knowledge of It. .. t' ' When Plncus landed there was an exploslbn. He's ofiC Woods itii^d bwan for life. ^ . " ' V Paramount,- Capitol and Roxy. It Is an . unprecedented' record for\New York In proportion to any other key city in the country. ■ ' ~ With all the radical changes tak- ing place in. theatredom of today .the presentation policy remains Stable and staple. From a point of vantage to actbrs It has and still Is d.olng more'for tiiein than any other branch, of the business. It has. "made" moire acts than anything else. ■ •■. - ■ . * While yfiudevUle may be tottering, musical comedy Wavering and talk- ing pictures continuing to bold the upper' hand,, presentations' will go on. Perhaps in a different, tierlodlr cally rettiied form, but- still 'pres* bntatibn& • Btiade by Patients /tow %usmess in Satanac, N* Y. For> the real holiday spirit, order gifts made by hand in Ae workshops of patients from ^^t^^^ ' have spent longf hours conceiving beautiful and appropriate articles. Beautiful /=7piper5 and Do//s, GUiA KAUNlN, ftO Park Ave., Saranac Hand-To6led Z.ea//ier Goods of all Sorts; and Monbgramed 5i7vcr Aih Tra^i, ^ and VERNON LAWRENCE, 80 Park Ave.. Sarahac Attractive W^nd-Madc DolU May Be Ordered from HELEN CURTIS. 7 Front St;, Saranac Off Paintings, Canes and Painted Pillonf Cases, FRANK MICKEY WALSK, . 80 Park Ave., Saranac Also Make Happy the Patient Patients of Saranac