Variety (Jun 1930)

Wednesday, June 11, 1930 TIMES SQUARE VARIETY 49 Joe Laurie Paying Off By Joe Laurie, Jr. Since becoming a columnist (?) I have been reading my con- temporaries and noticed every once lii a while they complain about how tough it Is to write a column.,.. How hard it is on the poor dears to dig up things to interest their readers.. . .How toUgh It Is on them ]to sit aroimd night clubs inhaling stale air and sipping antl-Volstead fluid... .How. the editor is yelling for rheir copy while they are suf- fering wtih a headache received at an all night boker session... .How contributors • pan and threaten them.. ..How bored they become interviewing celebreties... .H o w hard Broadway is on their nerves.. ..How terrible it is on the "little woman" who waits for her columnist husband until the small or smaller hours. •.. .How they never get to see their children. Just a Trick And I potice by the time they are complaining about all this they have .finished their column. It's an old trick telling the reader yoij .can't do a column, finishing one while telling it. So I figured why can't I put one of those things across right here? I could write about dozens of things that have happened In and out of show business the past week... .About the many people that meet me and ask why I don't use their names. — About the benefit Bob Hague gives yearly at Hoboken where al- most 100 Lambs appear at what he calls the Protestant Benefit for the Catholic Chih-ch. Plugging Friends About the funny speech "Bugs" Baer made at the "Graphic" .Sports dinner when he opened up saying, "Fellow athletes," and fell over Whalen's lap. About Gene Fowler's new book, called "Ropes of Sand," to be pub- lished in the fall. About a fine artist I know In Philadelphia by the name of "Vic Guiness ivho should be doing his stuff in New York. About another Philadelphian, Joe Cunningham, who rates as one of America's great humorists. About Ben Hecht, who told some- body he lilted my column. About Tom McNamara's annual pilgi'image from California to sock the fish in the Friars' Club grill. About a Variety copy reader reading the best column I thought I ever wrote and saying "lousy." About Capt. Patrick Irving O'Hay bidding on two race horses. About Inside talk of Jack Demp- sey and Jack Kearns getting to- gether again. About Will Rogers being nomi- nated for vice-president in 1932, and no doubt if elected will be the first one to ever introduce a rosin box In the White House. About Harry Hlrshfield saying he was a veteran of four drafts. Well Knowns About a certain well known couple in vaudeville getting divorced soon. About a certain well known couple in pictures getting married soon. About many literary guys being panicky on account of publishers cutting down on their fall pub- lications. About my sister-in-law closing with Mitzi's show and back on the lay-off pay roll. About Phil Dunning working on a new play at his beautiful home in "Westport. About Joe Gordon, the United Press man from London, back here on a visit. About Irving and Madeline and Mary Foy breaking in a new act. About a place on East 49th street that advertise that they buy, sell and exchange puzzles. In fact I can write about a lot of tilings and people but why .should 1 lor just one column? Friends 1 have omitted here may r*-f.'ister their squawks as us\ial. care Friars, New York City. , Cbi in Jone Chicago, June 10. Marriage license bureau sticks on two extra clerks. Six new peewee golf courses spring up. Seven boys in the beer racket get bumped off. Cops round up 267 suspects— then release them. Homewood nag wins, 50-1. Radio fan mail drops off 62%. Mugging tourists line up before Art Institute liort.?. Beer prices go up five cents a glass. Extra cops on all construction jobs to keep the lookers from clut- tering up the stems. Buma_move from Madison street to Grant Park. "White City and Riverview grab all daubs. Reporters ride squad cars to get news. Dailies drop their columns while the columnists vacation. Warned for "Steering" 'Thei'.e is no need to ballyhoo, Theatre ticket agencies are per- mitted by law. But you have no right to park yourself on the side walk and impede pedestrian trafiic. Moreover I don't approve of the method to solicit trade," said Magis- trate Jacob Eilperin in West Side Court to Jay Zuckerman, 21, sales- man, employed by the Equity Ticket Agency. The court accepted Zuckerman's plea of guilty. He ordered Zucker- man fingerprinted and finding he had no former record, suspended sentence. The defendant was charged with disorderly conduct (steering) in front of the Mansfield theatre where "Green Pastures" is being played. "We have your 'print' now and the next time it will not be so easy for you," warned the court. Dress and Undress Fete In Paris for Tourist Aid Paris, Endeavoring to retain the tourist trade in Paris up to the very end of the season, Gaston Gerard, com- missioner for tourism, has arranged a Paris Festival Week, starting June 23. This will Include dress and undress contests by Parisian artists, several gala nights in vari- ous theatres, a motor fashion pa- rade, and a ball at the Opera. After the Grand Prix at Long- champs, at the end of June, horse races take place at the seaside re- ."sorts and the Paris season oflflcially ends. Chump Literature Los Angeles, June 10. "What Happened That Night" is teaser title of a booklet sold at newstands in a sealed envelope for a dime. "Here's a thrilling story of 4,000 words about the most discussed woman in America. She lives in Los Angeles," is further teaser out- side the envelope. "Some say, 'it never should have beei printed.' Others say 'It's the best story ever written.' Decide for yourself." Ey this time anybody can guess that the lady is Aimee McPher.son, and anyone will tl.sk a dime on new info. The booklet reveals that the night referred to is the eve of Aimee's sailing for Palestine. What hap- pened that night was, she delivered a sermon. The sermon is described in enthusiastic detail by a .cympa- thetic vi^•ito^. Ahearn in Short Danny Ahearn,' New York ^-a.st '-idfr boy, author of "How to Commit Murder and Get Away With It" tIves-Johnson), will appear in a forthcoming Paramount News re- lea.se, probably for next wef-k, do- a talk on the futility of crime. He made the brief talk for I'ar- ttount News yesterday (10). ANTI-ST. PEDDLERS DRIVE A now iind vigorous drivf .'i.KJiiiisi .vlreet peddlers in Tinif'S ."^liinarf has bf-en laun<-hed by the police at Hi" insiifraiitinof Hie liroadway A •>•'>- ciatioii, wliose membf'rshlp ini.lucVs many fi" tl.e shopkc P'-r.- in tb'- Kvoa'Iway distri<-t. The? a-jsotialion is also pft)ti<.n- in.Ef co-opf'ration «l iho City M.'i.iii"- tratr-s in .«tnmi))nf: out tli" >Mi<-t peddl(-r nuisance by requesting that rlironi'" violator.s he icivcn Jail -'/n- tenres insifrad of .'^tnall finf«, whif:h it hf-lifvf-s would be most cff"ctiv*> in l«-f-)>iiiK il'f gyp peddler.^ ONt of the district. OFFICE BLDG. SLUMP Probably Force Rentals Down- Agents' Let-Outs, One Cause OfHoe rentals are due for a tumble in buildings of Times Square un- less operators remain adamant and j)r*ror to operate with current vacancies rather t.han shave tho rentals and pot occupants. Survey reveals office building va- cancies ranging from 15 to 25'r. Most vacancies have been caused by agents and bookers having been compelled to give up their former spacious quarters and subletting space with others if still continuing in. the racket. Many folded up permanently and their oflices have been vacant for months. The larger buildings are up against the possible reduction angle worse than smaller ones since if making reductions for new tenants would natijrally have to give the old tenants a reduced rate also or face plenty of grief and dissatisfaction all around. Some of the buildings are offering fair sized rooms for as low as $25 a month but no takers. The larger buildings, 75% occupied, and getting top rentals, can stand the gaff of the vacancies much better. 'Round the Square Golf Balls and Pistol Shots A couple of out of towncrs in tho Park Central hotel were a.sked by at. asst. mgr. what tlioy wero doing in thoir roonjs; it sounded as though they were firing off pistols. A complaint had boon made by the persons in the next room, tho asst, mgr. mentioned, with out of townors recalling the Rothstein shooting episode as the cause of tho panic. Thoy wore practicing golf shots into a basket on the wall. b\it nuivcd the next morning to another hotel 'without such tt-rriblc mcmorios. The Ideal Sportsman A very wealthy owner of a largo stable which raoos on tho motroiH>litan traclis clinngod trainers. A subordinate trainer informed the new "nu\n- ager" a stable .horse entered that day could not possibly lose, and if the manager wanted to make a hot, it wotild bo cinched. Tlie now manager, to ease himself in with the owner, went to him that afternoon at the track, .«iaylng: "Mr. Rlank, our so-and-so In the fourth race is a pipo today. I stake my reputation on it and you can't lose. Make as big. a bet as you want to." Whereupon the very ri<h owner replied: "lAind if I do bet and win. what am I to do with the money?" "ENGUSH BOB" ACCUSED OF HiniNG WM. SHEA Robert McCormack, 62, tall and stately, and known on his record as "English Bob" and "Big Bob," will deny in West Side Court before Magistrate Francis X. McQuade that he struck William Shea, 314 West 75th street, owner of. race hor.so.s. McCormack lives at the Esplanade Hotel, 305 West End avenue, near the homo of .Shea, The latter was taken to St. Vincent's 'lospital fol- lowing the alleged assault suffering from a broken left arm. The day that Shea is said to have been struck he went to the Belmont race tiack and witnessed Shea's Novena win at 3 to 1. He then went to St. Vincent's Hospital. Patrol- man Francis Mulrean of the West 68th street station made the arrest and since has assumed the attitude of a "sphinx." McCormack is charged with felo- nious assault. Efforts made to in- terview him in West Side jail proved futile. He Is out on $10,000 bail furni.shed by Sam Abeloff, jeweler, 307 West 112th street. At 7 A. M. As clerk, Joe Sencer, In "West Side Court, gleaned the facts from Mulrean, Shea and McCormack had a business deal some years ago. Some say it was a bet and that Mc- Cormack demanded a settlement from Shea. There was a tete a tete between them June 2, as Shea left his home about 7 a. m. for Belmont. Harsh words developed and a struggle ensued. Shea .fell and landed on his left arm. Mul- rean was called and made the ar- rest on Shea's complaint. Shea hurried to Belmont after a physi- cian attended him. "English Bob" has had a colorful career. His "lemon sheet" (crimi- nal recojd) shows 20 arrests for miscellaneous offenses. Five are convictions in this state and others. He began his crin^lnal career in 1893. Last year, despite "Big Bob's" age, he was arraigned and freed on the charge of assault. McCormack is an impeccable dre.ssc-r. Whether the argument was over a long standing debt could not be learned. Shea, at ,St. Vincent's, assert(^d his injury was the result of an a.uto accident. 2,000 Capacity Tent Show As Realty Ballyhoo Chicago, J»ine 10. Fir.<.t r«al estate company in thf we.>-t \<.> a'-t>ially open a tent*-d rr-p- f'l'tory ifpnitmny, with lh<' solo in- ((•ntifiri (if dragging prosp'-cls to th*- rroiirid«. ).« the H. O. .Stone coiii- l„Miy h'-vi-. Organization ha.*-- irivcst- ( d .'i|'pi-o.\iiii; acl.v__ $.'j.0t)0 In w li.'it un- qiif-ijf'ii.iMy i.« the fin'-st and I;irv(-.'-i tdil sIk/w '\(r y.i-i xip. Karlf Ho-.' '! wl:0 ."tay-d tJirof- .\f-ais ;ii ilir W; Tint Ion, Oak I'arlc, tiro lian- iWhiW il.'- .'■liow ( nd. T'iit •-<at.« about 2,000 and is Ko- r.'itf il whTO the Stone compaijy li;i« a dfv<li-ipmfnt of several hundred an-(;s-. lU rf- eaf h night Hhf-h and his pl.'jy^r" drag frhlcagoans ahout 1,) milf " <o the Kpot. Expect to run 20 we'.k."j. "Lost" Jewelry Curious happenings are told of late regarding "lost" jewelry, with a prcsxmipiion the goms wore ins\irod. An unavoidable inference is that the insurance money was prci'crrod by the owner to the jewelry ll.solf. Two of the most marked Inst.'int'os have been, in country clubs and recently. A di.imond ring was found on the ballroom floor of one dub house. It was estimated worth considerable. Notice posted a ring had been found brought no claimant for it. The same thing, excepting this time a much more valuable diamond- bracelet, was kicked about and picked up by another worhan in a ball- room, but the posted notice did not dlsclo.se its owner. Fun in Hollywood (Prom Variety's Hollywood Bulletin) It was one of those parlies. Toward the end of the evening 50 per cent didn't know the other fellows' names and 10 per cent didn't know their own. A man and his wife about to drive away noticed a couple; apparently without a car, but in a condition attesting the host's gener- osity. "Can we give you a lift?" The earless ones were in that state in which they would agree to anything. They poured themselveij ijito the back seat. After a few minutes the driver thought to ask- the couple where he might drop them. They had both passed out of the pictitre completely. To all questioning the only answer forthcoming was a con- tented purr. With insufficient sleeping space in his own home, the chap drove the two to a downtown hotel. He registered them as "Mr. and Mrs. Blank," and with the help of his wife put them to bed. The couple came too in the morning. As no third person was present, they were called upon to Introduce themselves. Crack-up ho Gag for Shappy Shappy (M. H.) Shapiro of the Paul Whitemari office was in the crack-up of the tri-motored Ford transport plane which fell In seven feet of water in Boston harbor last Thursday. He was bruLsed and was treated for shock, returning to New York late last week—but not via plane. It was no gag to Shappy. His friends had been kidding him prior to going to Beantown by alr'the day previous. Shapiro accompanied Jimmy Gillespie, Whiteman's manager, on the way up. Jimmy wanted com- pany in case, or something like that. Whiteman wa^ around Boston playing concerts, tuning up for his start this week at Hollywood Gar- dens, up Pelham Parkway way. Just before shoving off for the Newark airport for the north-bound trip, one pal called Shappy up inquiring if he was interested In buying a parachute. Another phoned to offer Insurance. SoUcltious, they long distanced him at the Ritz, Boston, after the accident. Shajjpy talked weakly but he always does talk under his breath. An Auctioneer's Monolog Remember this furniture Is not like the junk being made these days, this is the genuine mahogany made by real craftsmen. But you've looked around, I don't have to tell you. Don't be Influenced by people who tell you things will be cheaper on the last day, these are the days of penny sales. Everybody walling for the last day will force prices up then. And don't wait for everybody to go to lunch, everybody Is wtiitlng for the same thing. I'm bid 3.'), sold for 35. Sorry madam, should have spoken sooner. Well, an auctioneer's life is not a happy one. Yes, sir, your money Is as good as another's, but we can't wait all day. Going at 77, what, madam, 76? Oh, all right then the bid's open again, 76, 80, 85; sold to the gentleman for 00. And madam hesitated at 77. I'm bid 3 for thl.s table. Oh, what a crime, 3, 4, sold for 4. I never heard of such prices. This rug, sold for 50, one just like it yesterday for 80. What, madam, you thought you were bidding on something else? Bid's open again, etc. Speaks around the ,Sc|uare have heen tipped that 400 special mop-up flicks go On duty July 1 when Prohibition enforcement pa.sses to the Department of Justice. First NOISE NUISANCE Conviction—Music Store's . Loud Speaker, Cause The first conviction under the re- :('ntly pa.ssed antl-nol.sc Health De- partment ordinanc-e occurred in .Spe- ial .S'Hsions when Jos<-pl) Krauss, 39, ninsic. dealer of 427 East SOth ,\rc<-X, was found guilty of "pei-mit- tidg f xc'-ssivf noise to emanate fr'im :i sound-producing rna'-hinf- kiiouTi a.s a iihonograpli'' from lils .•■•idro at lii4« .'^fcond avr'iiuf. 11'- will );<■• Kf'Mt'-nicrl Friday, rn'.-;in\\ lilh- fi I <•■ niid'T bail. Kr.:ii.'-s was a^l•(•^t(d May b.v Il'alili \)(-\<;i\\n,<f\y in- p'-'Uir m, wlio 1 l,;ii-;,'(-d ij'-riniiif-d a l()iicl-.-fj<.,ik- in-' pIioMog) aph to play froiii f-arly nifirniiig until lale '•vrilng. to ili«- annoyani-c of h^igliboi'ing t'-ii/i(iis. It was tl.e first arrest iit)(lr-r ."^'•ciinn 21 ( A of llio .Sanitary (.'ode, wliiih w;.s adriplC'd on Api'il 8. The (ou- vlctlon is a niI«df-mf-anor. and <ur- rics a Juil icnn, a line or bolli. One Too Maiiy in Room, And the Usual Happens Harry ,Struckler, 33, Bronx haber- dasher, and residing at 220 West 97th street, received a suspended sentence from Magistrate Louis A. Hrodsky. Struckler'a wife, Ma- thilda", and her sister, raided Struclc- ler's 97th street apartment early (;iie morning and found a strange f'^ninie hiding in the closet. Mi-H. Struckb.'r, former show Kirl, .•-ought 10 h'-rate the sti'ariger, but llari'y l.s allr'giMl to have .<-( iz'-iT Iti.s wiff-'.s arm and wrf-nclifd it. A hliiccoat who ."^liarcd In the raid fid- vis<-d ihf iiriknown lady to dr<-."-H and "br.;,t. it.' Shf did. IU'l;i' r w,is t)i(-n aji-i-.'-wd on Ills wif>-'*; ''oinplaint '-hargiLg rli-- ol'(l(*)Jy coikIiii'I. ''Hariy hail II* bii^inlo injur*' my arin,"' di- i ),;r<-d ilic (-r^rwhllc.' dan( or. !-!'ai-i.i1 ailjourrinn rit.'i weio tak" n liy Sii »i l.li-i". I-'iriiilly Magisti'uic lii-wd-- sky l<)''k the i-,:se to a l{r(»)i.\ louit and Mirpendcd fccnicnce on UiO. hd.l.'Ci du.'-.hcr.