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Wednesday, June 25, 1930 TIM EST SQUARE VARIETY 123 Inaccurate Biographies D.W. GRIFFITH By Claude Bihyon Hollywood, June 20. Liet us dissect the soul of David Wark (Awk) Griffith as though In a zoology, class, f'lrst, we take a tra^y o£ wax and pin Awk into It. While we do this the girls squeal and lift up their dresses. The boys laugh and watch the girls. Grif- fith says nothing. The professor bends over the wax tray and makes an aperture in Awk so that the soul may be revealed. Awk says "Awkl" and there lies the soul. It steps from the body and gazes dreamily at the girls. "There Is poetry in womanhood," It museis. "There Is the poetry of limbs. They come in the rhythmic meter of two — two by two they march through the parks with their lovers. Ah, glorious spring I Ah, gorgeous .womanhoodI Would that man cotdd bear the brunt of wash boards so that woman's life might be one long laugh.. ."Who's stopping you 7" asked one •f the dames. "Why don't you go out anid get yourself a brunt to bear?". "Ah. nuts," replies the soul.' It Is- crying. "What is your theory of life 7"^ adks one of the boys, to relieve the embarrassment. "Ah/life is not a theory," says the so\iI. "lilfe is a gorgeous parade of dreams at times;' at others a roaring, torrential, cy- clonic onrush of base . passions. Man is a beast Man is a savage ogre. Man Is lousy." , "Is this for publication?" chimes tai.a girl. "Nothing," says the soul, "is for publication. If an interview is taken from me it is because I am caught unawares. I lose myself in my own fantasia. The initials are D. W., and don't forget "The Birth «f a Nation." Awk was bom in La Grange, Ky., ■tnd the scant population got on his lierves. "Whatever I Ao" he ^used to say, "Til do it with crowds. In Hollywood later thousands of ex- tras were benefited by that resolve. When Awk was 16 he decided he'd-^be a poet Seated in the liv- ing room one nighi: he batted off this ditty: , **/ muat draw my a^eord and Blay me When Yput\ Ufta Ua viinpa for flights Who leant* hitter yenout-mem'riea of a rod, red night t" In the Woodshed His dad looked it,over. He looked ft over again. Then he called hl^ son Into the woodshed. "Where," he asked, "did you get ideas like this?" "What ideas?" evaded the Awk. "Have" you—^you " the father floundered. He tried again. "Have you—have you—^have— " "No," said Awk. The' father sighed. "Go to bed," he said. "Go to bed and get some sleep." "I'm busy," protested Awk. "I've got to flnlBh this thing. I've got to describe the red, red night in de- tail." "Not in my parlor," said the fath- er stlflly. He was a Southerner named Griffith. As time , wore on, Awk tried play- wrighting, acting and newspaper work. None of them appealed to him particularly because the hours were either too long or there weren't any hburs. In 1908 he en- tered pictures, and later directed some of the screen's greatest pro logs. He was first to discover the advantage of employing hordes of extras. One extra appearing in a picture would bring at least 20 rela tlves to see It, and by employing enough of them Griffith was sure to get his investment back. Anfong his film's, besides the "Na tlon," are "Intolerance," "Way Down East," "Broken Blossoms and a picture which became known In the trade as "Potatoes." His latest is "Abraham Lincoln," shot so quickly, for Griffith, the studio waa still testing for leads when it was finished. Griffith is a retiring man despite nis greatness. He loves to sit be tore a fireplace reading a book. "A book," he once said, "is like • dog. It is a man's best friend." "Tour books certainly are," re- torted his butler. 'Every other page is dog-eared. Do you read slowly, or are you Just cautious?" Griffith fired the butler. GIANNI VIAFORA, SUICIDE Cartoonist Shoots Himself in Bath- room of Home "Society destroys a beast that is suffering. But a human is com- pelled to suffer." stated Gianni Vlafora, 65, famed caricaturist and husband of the erstwhile noted opera star, Mme. Glna Glaparelli, Just before he ended his life by shooting himself through the right temple in the bathroom of his home, 310-West 79th street The cartoonist had been ill of a heart ailment for some time. He recently left the Italian hospital where he had gone in th|Bi hopes of obtaining some relief. But his pain became acUte. Mme. Vlafora was giving vocal lessons to a pupil in the parlor of her home when she beard the report of the pistol. She never knew her husband ' had a gun. She was' prostrated. BANGED^UP GDO. CANT BE LOCATED BY COPS Subtle Advice Chicago, June 21. Prominent hotel has put new sign: "We .Cash ChecTis." Underneath is a large frame containing a big array of rub- ber checks. Pinned to each one is a newspaper clipping telling of the arrest and con- viction of the guilty party. Comely Femme Garbage Can Tosser in Square Does Chores oil Farm Despite part of her right ear is missing and ~ that she received a vicious "cuffing" she' asserted, Margaret Hartley , Gallagher, erst- while dancer, failed to appear In West Side Court to prosecute John Lennon, 93, of a "whisperlow" at 117 West 49 th street Assistant, District Attorney Max Wleder' explained to Magistrate McQuade that detective Clarence Gilroy and John Walsh of the West 47th street istation had made futile efforts t6 locate the complainant. A gun w^ found near Lennoh's barroom. He was charged with as- sault and violation of the Sullivan law. Discharged on both charges. ARMUSS VAUD GOLFER DOES 18 HOLES IN 89 Buffalo, June 21. Tommy McAuIiffe, vaudevllllan and armless trick golfer, home in Buffalo for the summer after an R-K-O tqur, played the difficult 18- hole Erie Downs course in 89. It was the first time McAuIiffe has played an 18-hole course in 20 years. He was accompanied by Ray, his brother, professional at the course, and gallery made up of local theatrical celebrities. McAuIiffe has a special set of clubs, stroking the samel from be- tween the shoulder and the head. He putts holding the club in his mouth, and performs in this man- ,ner the Joe Kirkwood stymie line- up of six balls on the green, dropping them one by one in the cup. While in Australlt^ on a vaude tour last year he did 88 over the par 72 course at the Royal Queens- land, Brisbane. Anna Semenuck, IS, of. 89 County: avenue,' Secaucus, N. J^ the young Hercules that Is seen dally in Times Square about 7 a. m; tossing cans of riefuse. ,fr6m restaurants into a truck that .she drives) was haled to West Side Court before Magistrate. Francis X. McQuade on the charge of having her truck im^^ properly covered. The Court was Impressed by the young defendant and suspehded sentence when, ishe promised to sin no more. William Beiner, chief sanitation Inspector, served the summons on the "strong glrl.'^ He stated to' the-Court that she' was negligent in covering the truck. Miss Semenuck came to court ac- comp^anled ^ by her slstelr, Christeha, The latter ia two; years older. Their paterfamilias'cbliducts a pig farm In Secaucuis'and the sisters do most of the heaVy'chores; , The defendant is an ekpert chauf- feur and hais'beisn. the cynosure of all eyes in the "Miain Stein" during the early hours by.her tretaendous .strength and beauty. She is at- tired in o'verallti and a Jumper. Hollywood As Is By Cecelia Ager They serve the salad first Can't get out of a gas station before a swarm of radiator-fillers, wind- shield-cleaners, and tire-pumpers attack your car. Last day on The Chief so hot breathing singes your nostrils. Only broadcasts fit to listen in are transcontinental. California golf courses so easy you can't bet with certainty. Pictut-e previews a closed shop, tickets going to the studio.' Rest bought up by neighborhood house fans who storm the box office at t p. m. , Hollywood so spread you can never be sure you are living In the right part. No thunder showers in summer to break the heat Stage ishows cast with actors, either hopeful of picture producers at- tention, or those who had It for Just a little while. No soft shell crabs. Picture house stage' presentation^ last longer than the picture. Oh, where is there a barber with enougTi talent to cut your hair? Goifi courses need water hazards or at least a grove of trees. No bright colors left to paint your cari, No place to sit around. They make you take your h&t off in . the Roosevelt A sunburn doesn't prove anything because everybody has one. Timid cover charges make you laugh. ' Can't get thick cream for coffee. ■ Famous Hollywood boulevard's eating places Just a string of sand- wich Joints. Filipino ehauffeurs work for $80 a month. ^ Concrete tennis courts Jar your ankles. . New crop of people every three mouths. MORE OR LESS CELEBS PICKING ON GREAT NECK Great Ne<ik, Ii'L, during, the presr ent seasoi^. has witpess,ed , an Influx of newspaper folks 9tad liteitati, w^b are establishing a' colony there. ■ Whitney Bolton is .the latest Others include Nunnally Johnson, Thyra Samtner Wlnslow, Stanley Walker and Sana Hellmanh. SPEAKEASY BOYCOTjlNG Truant Customers'(Must Be Faith- ful, or Else- Jealousy among speak proprietors has developed what amounts tp a blacklist as 'a retaliatory - mejaisure 'of chastising the playboy patron who flits from one Joint to another. Props are doing picket duty keep- ing tabs. on truant, customers, and If, seeing them patronize a rival place early in tlie evening, |)arrlng them from entry to thebr places after midnight when the locked door is on. ' Nevr angle has precipitated plenty of 'wrangling among the props as to taking each others' customers, with anonymous complaints from a peeved prop bringing a possession pinch for the competitor. ^ Operatic PenthouBe Chicago, June 21. To be near his Chicago 'Civic Opera building, Samuel Insull, who erected and put through the $10,- 000,000 enterprise, moved. into the penthouse on the top floor, only during the opera season. Price of Popularity By Joe Laurie, Jr. "I knew him when he flrst started. He had good breaks, that's all." "He isn't a bit clever. Just knows the right people." "Everyone says he is great but he can't hand me a laugh." "He is using everybody's stuff in show business." "They say he has a guy ivTltlng all his ad-lib stuff." "Who couldn't be a hit with a fat part like his." "He plays golf with managers and booking men, that's why." 'T never see him spend a dime." "He drinks too much, always half stewed/^__^^ "Has a sweetheart In every show he's InT" ^ "He Is a real hick off stage, don't know a thing." "I hear he beats up his wife regrularly." "His old man Is a porier in Brooklyn." "His brother is funnier than he is, but can't get a Job." "He can't dance a step. Just a faker." "He ow^s dough to a lot of guys that helped him get started." "He sure is getting high hat since he's on top." "My kids,play with his kids and they tell me they never see him." "But they didn't renew his option in Hollywood." "He can't sing a note but women go for him." "I guess he knows where the body's burled." Making Phoning Harder ., Telephone company , adding one more number for operators, .ta get wrong. ;N'ew system going Intb'effect in Decdnb'er leaves present'nu^ hers unchanged but pre'fi^'els :^em by ii sltig.te .h^imersil after tUb' change name and before .tt>e regiijar nuinbei^., Ideia ihai'.^e expfiahi^ have a number 2 .company as It. were or'ai numt^er . i) its the cascr may . be. Shortage of usable names; limited tremendously by .'the dial ayr^-. teiitr is the cause. Compainy is already tittaching the new numbers to private instruments'but leaving a t^mpdrary'card. over the ^present one to be removed' when the new system-goes Into effect'' Also'a book of instructions. Reason for the early start at adJ|uB,tlng is ,the enormouA number of people, and phones to be reached,. New "jrofkers iielnig addicted to calling peqple up. / Autb'Shoiipihg ai ^bpi [ Another indication of the anemic condition of business is the variety. Of articles' thrust through automobile ^rihdb^s' at, "inbst traffic flto^s. l^erbhantis have tired of' waiting -fqr cus'£om^t^:tb''Cbme intb the shops sb they are gblilg .out attbr thein.','. No )i^ntlne litems^ ,' Amoiig 'ttie latest' c,b.ip(>iiibdit|le8','t9 try this fbnq^ bjC .Wlnd6'w^^oppii|g are flowers-T-thQugh , tiie,: Fifth ,4v^nue • cops. 'gave i.rtiort -- sblftl'. t». the carnation, l^den sale.smenrr-and.woblen materialfk' direct ^from-'Leedi^ England, finest worsted, .enough in each' tii^ei'tb n:i^e It suit" ' l^et. stolen evidently since his supply l|)a^e iir a'^'^bli^'<^'Bdy<^isi)Dg 1^ wares. ■■ ,., ' '\y Possibly the most' permanent at: least the .niost anjiiislnjg 'peddler u' the towering negro selliri^^ndyeltjr'shakes .and whips. He dresses for bis part In . typical cowbpy bu'tflt. .handling out a ( humorous line 4e8|pite the "No", men.of the"'wheel, ' ' ' "Boys"., Now Talking / The Broadway "boys" are talking quite'freielj^^ now that the Boxing Commission officially awarded the heavywelghi title to Max Schinellnk> about his recent fisticuffs with Jack Sharkey and to. wliat extient the "wise" money was <fh the German, with the'definite proviso in all those wagers that fouls counted in ptiylng-otC If Schmeling. and Joe Jacobs okay a return bout 'with Sharkey In September, which isn't likely although there is a'possll;>ility, according to the inside dope, , there is a definite provijso that, should Sharkey regain his title, Schmeling be accorded equally quick action by a return in June, 1931. However, very likely Jacobs will hold off every- thing for a year at least * '. . 64 Miami Boys in N. Y. , The Miami Chamber of Commerce band, made, up of 64 youths, whose parents are prominent In the southern resort .visited New York over the week-end. Sunday they wet-e guests of Joe Lehlahg' an'S were taken by busses to Ebbetts Field to see the front running Brooklyn ball team in action. Leblang is Interested in the Hollywood hotel, near MlamL The Street Fakir Auctioneering under the I< on 6th avenue has taken a mechanical turn. One of the high-pitch boys, aware bf the power of street bally- hoo, has a microphone erected in front of his saleto block to carry his dulcet voice out to mingle with the other sweet sounds on the Avehue. The broadcast is good showmanship. It trades on the dramatic element of suspense. "L<adles and gentlemen" declares the microphoned voice, "you see here a box. Tou don't know what's in it. But I do—and I advise you ladies and gentlemen, to bid for this rare prize. 'Who 'will start the bidding with UcT'. 'When the bidding appears to be stationary at 60c, the auctioneer Injects a note of agonized pleading with, "What only 60c? The box alone Is worth more than that Where's your sportsmanship? Take a chance on the richness within." By this time street loiterers, children of Pandora whose curiosity over-weighs their wisdom, drift through the shop doors while the auc- tioneer, apparently unconscious of their arrival, watches them out ot the corner of his eye, and has another trick ready to spring as soon as the crowd becomes large enough. With the air of a benefactor, he announces: "Now I'm going to give you something." Holding up a silver pen and pencil Impressively set in blue velvet he continues: "This is what we gave away Saturday"; dlsplayiijfi; ji black enamel boudoir clock: "This is what we gave away Monday,^ and this (brandishing a tiny purple box) "is what we're giving laway today." Quickening his tempo: "There are only 12 ot. these, laditis alid gentlemen. First ^come, first served. Fifteen centa^ iiuxd one ot theiii^ prizes is yours." 'Whereupon he collects, neglects to give out the "prizes" and. pror eeeding with the auction, keeps 12 goofs, who' have pt^d tOT*'ih6 privilege of being shllls, waiting until he decides to give out the' shoddy prizes.