Variety (Jul 1930)

Wcdflefi^«y» Jply 30, 1930 TIMES SOa A RE VARIETY 81 An Orchestra Leader s Week By Joe Laurie, Jr. fl»t)urd«y—Got *>P J*** *** '■■■inai 'to the theatre without fibaiv- About IB minutes late lor re- hSreal. Maniger, actors and my tton gave jne dirty looks. How Sany times baa that manager been Sit^ And the actors are always Ste. As for my men they "can't «fen keep Ume when they're play- ing. . i>ay started all • wrong. Had a couple of arguments with the acta, gome didn't have enough parte, wbllo most have their cues marked wrong. A sister act who I am sure Ifl breaking In feave me more trouble than I've bad In years. One says to'play It one way and the other <ohe says to play It another way. f n bet It's a loiisy act. ' ■ Got a new, drummer and every Viptect the acts ask him tor he saj's be. has In his trunks and he will get them out for the matinee. I • jten*t, believe- be has anything but ^ Jjfl "drumsticks',' 1' picTced out an overture and the men said It was lousy. They wouldn't know a good overture even Is they knew how to piay It. The show went off pretty good, but got the sister act's stuff balled tip. They got me nervouis yelling "slower," "faster." I suppose they think I balled up their music on iptiriiose. \ After the matinee the acts were waiting to tell ine that I was "too lotid," "too soft," "too fast" or "too iibw." They forget they've been doing their, acts for years and that i never saw the music before today. By the end of the week they'll autograph their pictures saying that i'm the best leader they ever had play for them, ^ Sunday—Got up early and prac- ticed on my fiddle. Neighbors yelled to stop. How do they ex pect a guy to know how to play if be doesn't practice? Gave a les eon to Mr. Cohen's son. He will never learn how to pTay a fiddle If b(9 lives to be a hundred. Maybe he's better off. His father will never know It from me. Three bucks a lesson In these days. Had an argument with Tony; my clarinet player, about politics. One of those excitable wops who thinks everything Italian is the best. Pays , more attention to fights, wrestlers, . bicycle riders and Mussolini than ' he does his work. Played poker be- tween shows and I lost 60 cents. Think the new drummer is a shark, be won all the money. Show went ttt pretty good except that we got In.d little late for the sketch's curtain music. They got pretty Bore about it, but we Just couldn't help it. I had a straight and had to play the hand out. . .Monday—More trouble. My tuba player didn't show up. i^runk, guess. I don't blame a tuba player getting drunk. It's a load on a fel .low's neck. The sister act kicked again, but not as much as yester-' day. I guess they're beginning to know their act. The single woman wants me to talk louder when she says: "How you feeling, Benny?" She ought to stick to her singing. Vm a fiddle player, not an actor. She hands me a couple of cigars when she finishes the week. I remember her from last season. One more com- plaint from her and I won't talk at all. Gave some more lessons to Du- . bin's little boy and girl. They don't want to play violin; they want to play the ukelele. When their old man gets the bill for new strings he will be glad they are not play ing g, harp. The manager spoke to me about putting a band on the stage. What is show business com- ing to anyway? Gave Her the Eye Tuesday—Had another argument ^Ith my neighbors about practicing. I guess I'm going to move. A swell looking woman sat in the front w>w for three shows. I don't know •f it's me, the drummer or the single man on the bill. Anyv^ay, I save her the eye. Played some poker and lost a couple of bucks, •Drummer won again. I think he Wants to get enough money to to buy the tneatre. Wednesday—Arguihent with my cornet player about automobiles. AH cornet players are crazy. That swell looker was in again. She Klnda smiled at me. The monolo gist complained to the cymbal on his best gag. He does a lousy act. M. Cing the Racket Thursday — Went over to the union. A lot of guys out of work. These kids In the jazz bands did it. Play a. dozen difterient instruments but can't play any one well. And these talking picture. I don't know what show business is commg to. Manager asked me would I sing a song during the overture. They don't want a leader nowadays;, they want a Caruso doubling in brass. I'm going to do the song. It wlU give me experience and 1 may get a Job aa Master of Cere- monieis some place. That's the racket. 1 am writing down all the good Jpkes and acts usbd. Anyway, my voice tisrt't as bad'las that sis- ter act. One of them flirted with me today. Friday—Have a terrific headache. Had the sister act out for some beer last night,_ They want_me to make them new orchestrations. Nlce gffls' My orchestrations will help the act 100%. Played poker and lost a buck and a half. I'm going to get rid of that drummer. My second vio- linist handed in his notice. Got a radio job. The lucky bum. Got orders from the manager that the band goes on the/stage next week. We are all going to , wear monkey suits. Name of the show is "Jungle Days." I'm to sing a song besides playing a solo. He told me if I learn to do a buck dance and tell gags, my job would be safer. Twenty years it took me to learn how to play a fiddle and lead an orchestra and now it's no good un- less I sing, dance and dress like a monkey. I wonder what Jasha Hle- fitz would say if they asked him to do it? Now I've got to worry if my boys will play song right for me. To- morrow is argument day with the new actors. I hear that my drum- mer can dance and sing. Also thinks he is a comedian. I know Tm going to get rid of him, I also found out today that the swell looker in for nearly every show Js the daughter of one of the women in the sister act. Everything nowadays Is Ma- ibrkey. that manager we were making too much noise while he was on. Tuning our instruments, all coming In at once, and detracting from him, and to top all, the drummer dropped a Holing In Hollywood, July 29. An ««tor returning to Hol- lywood after three months claims miniature golf courses have been built all around his bouse. "I had to play 13 holes to get Into my kitchen," be said. VIGOROUSRAID ON GAMBLERS SUMNER IN nor BOOK RAD) ON 4i>TH ST. John S. Sumner, his chief aide, Charles Bamberger, and Detectives Wittenberg and Benjafnin of Chief Inspector John O'Brien's office ar- rested three men on the charge of possessing indecent books and seized circulars and almost 100 copies of "100 Merrie and Delightsome Stor- ies," the alleged "hot" books. The defendants are Sidney J. Abelson, 27, office manager for Dlng- well-Rock, Ltd., 45 West 45th street, and residing at 3962 Caroline Street, Li. I. City; Adam Dingwell, 69,. said to be the head of the above firm,, living at 704 West End avenue, and Alfred C. Rlsdon, 68, president of the. American Anthropological So- ciety, Inc., and residing at Gales Ferry, Conn. Abelson is alleged to have sold Wittenberg a set of the stories for $20. He negotiated the sale after he told Abelson he was a lover of books and had been sent there. Dingwell was arrested Immediately after. Incensed, Dingwell is quoted as saying following his arrest: "Why don't you arrest the publisher." The vice crusader told him that was Just what they wanted. Dingwell told them that Rlsdon was the pub- lisher and could be located on a lower fioor. When Rlsdon was ar- rested they found 85 sets of the complained books and 3,500 circulars bearing alleged lewd pictures, the sleuths averred. The prisoners, books and circulars were taken to the West 47th street station house. The defendants got bail. Wittenberg told reporters that Dingwell stated he bought the books from Risdon for |10 a set and sold them for $20. When a young woman read of the books in an advertisement, she sent for a circular. Her father came across the circular with the peppery pictures and he sent them to Mr. Sumner. Defendants received an adjoinment until August 13. They, entered pleas of not guilty. Chelsea Exchange Bank adver- tises free folding pocket camera for all new accounts over $6 to start. Inaccurate Biographies Jack Oakie By Claude Binyon . Sleuths attached to the staffs of Chief Inspector John O'Brien (Head- quarters); Deputy Chief Inspector James S. Bolan and Paddy McCor- mick, "Czar" of . the bluecoats of Mazda Lane, are hot after "bookies.'' Since Chief Magistrate Joseph E. Corrigan put the skids under a nuniber of Magistrates' Court .GlerkS^:.thfi_coppers-^were-glven-o'r-^ ders to enhance their batting aver- ages. Heretofore the "magic" form of complaint bearing no facts and informing the Court that there was a lack of facte (in the clerk's mind) has been done away with. Chief Magistrate Corrigan In- structed the clerks to put all facts in the complaint and let the Magis- trate decide without drafting an 0-14 (the previous form). During the week at West Side Court, many defendants were ar- raigned on the charge of posseesslng gambling machines, "policy games" and other offenses within the scope of the Inspector's men. They' had complained that they got poor, breaks from the clerks. Hence the' wholesale transfers. "Conversation" which was an im- portant fact in bookmaking com- plaints and which seemed to be al- ways missing, are now appearing and being testified to by detectives. Heretofore it was impossible to con- vict unless ^conversation" was heard. Corrigan has put fear into the cops and clerks. One big raid of the week was the arrest of Charles Shaw, 35, clerk, of 261 West 61st street and William Hayes, 32, clerk, of 242 West 49th street. Both were arrested during a raid by detectives Wittenberg and Benjamin of O'Brien's office. The defendants are said to have politi- cal influence. The cops descended upon the pair at 42 West 60th street. They .seized several telephones, racing sheets, charts and other alleged gambling paraphernalia. The raid was witnessed by com munlcants in the PauHsts' Fathers Church, 60tii street and Columbus avenue. A wife wboSe erring bus band has been giving the bookies his salary was the cause of the raid. Paris-Rigbt Now! By O. M. SAMUEL Parlsi July 12: Boulevards are alive with sand- wich men advertising "Maya" as the "most banned play." It is at the Studio theatre, on the Champa, al- most but not quite a roof playhouse of the midget type. Program con- tains references to its being stopped in New York and elsewhere. Biz not eo good. Folies show is all claimed for Best the theatre has had to date. Speed and novelty. —TJieJgelceyLAllens-celebrhted thcir- 26th wedding annlversay in Paris. They sail for New York July 30 on the "De Grasse." In Europe since May. What Chi Goes For Chicago, July 29. Astrology fortune telling Joints are popping up along Michigan av- enue. All are getting a terrific ~^ay, Fad started with the opening of the Adler Planetarium on the lake front in Grant Park a few weeks ago. Star peeking house is now drawing 3,000 a day, with about half the number, as soon as they hit the boulevard again, hot-footing it to the star mitt readers, who are charging from |1 to $10 for con- necting up the stars the folks saw, with their destiny. Play has become so strong local picture house dialn la working des perately on a plan to bring some of the star gazefs into the lobbies of their nearby houses, where It Is planned to spot star teller. Bastille Day celebrated here aa never boforoi Very colorful in the parades were some of France's Afri- can troops. Peasanta usurped .t^e streets at night for dancing, with a hot orchestra every few feet. Citroen is showing an auto of the electric type. RunSvie miles with- out being recharged and costs $89. ' 'Hotels not so crowded this sum- mer. Several restaurants fomplain- ing about business, and theatres look to be about 25% below usual grosses. Not as many houses open, either. ^% Very much American is the French lad walking up and down in front of the Paramount box office yelling, "Plenty seats on the inside," in French. '' Making the rounds of the theatres la the ruler of Tunis. Resplendent in Imperial robes. No sooner than he bows In orchestras begin playing the national anthem. Rising to do him' honor Is not such a task be cause of the flap-back seata. Several cabarets inviting visitors to their places by malL Npt a bad advertising idea; some implying vul garity openly In their missives. Most goofy Americans come here looking for "a shock." Parl-mutuel prices at the race courses here are much better than in the States. Player has aomethlng of a chance. Stolen Clothes Leave Owners Much Annoyed Apparently thoroughly familiar with the physical lay-out of Vincent Balletta's tailoring establishment on the flrst floor of 1625 Broadway, burglars broke In over the week- end and made away with $12,000 worth of finished men's clothing. It left many a theatrical patron, in- cluding many actors awaiting new wardrobe, in the lurch. Balletta's Is chiefly a theatrically patronized men's tailor. While cov- ered by insurance the inconvenience to his customers -is not insurable. Two years ago he was similarly burgled at which time he took out insurance/ Hollywood, July 26J In Sedalia, Mo., where Jack (Sweatshirt) Oakie was born, the natives still remember him as "that open nosed Oakie boy." I^hey re- cite the words slowly, fondly, as one caresses the butt of a pistol. - Down at the livery stable where Oakie used to go to have his hair shampooed with sheep dip, there Is a photograph of the kid clipped from a fan magazine. It is fastened to the wall with unnecessarily large horseshoe nails, and there Is a bullet hole through Its nose. Below t^^e picture someone has painted: "Stlcka ^nd stones will break his bones, so why call him names?" It is not that Oakie is disliked In Sedalia. It is simply a tribute to one swell wisec'racker. ,_c_ Chi s Answer Chicago, July 29. New York la bigger, but Chicago more fun in life because: There'a never been a subway explosion. People talk about somebody besides "I" and "Myself." Neighbors are sometimes friends. Gunmen talk and then shoot. The mayor never makes speeches. Broadway Is only a street car line. Times Square Is Just a gag name for a new.spaper plant. Nobody ever goes to Joisey. Policemen are not handsome, but know the ropes. 'There was a newspaperman named LIngle. There is no "Little Church Around the Corner." Anybody can be guest of honor at a banquet and drag down a $25,000 "purse." Pedestralns can walk both ways. Picture stars only stop over but never stay. Everybody is broke. —Once the to wnloatertwittedOakie publicly about his freckles. '7ou look like a speckled hen." he said. You cackle like one," retorted Oakie. There was general laughter. And another thing," continued Oakie, "these freckles are simply rust from ^y iron will." There was gener^^l: silence. - "1 mean it," said Oakie. Til get places, I will." The silence became almost palnfuL Oakie acuffed bla toe In the dirt, and the circle of on- lookers dribbled away quietly. "You Sedalia hill-billies!" he choked. "Just watch me I" The Sedalia hlll-blllies turned and watched him as he hopped a freight for New York. Other Good Men "That guy," muttered a native named Otho, "sure loves hlmaelfjl. "It isn't love," defended owSf^" Oakle's chums. "It's aimply high regard. Napoleon ilnd Julius Caesar were that way." In New York Oakie tried hl«h- s>,hool for a while, but found he was way ahead of,the books. One .day. between classes he entOred the pfln- clpal's Office and selected a comfort- able chair. . "I'm a student, hsr^b" he said to the principal, pocketli^^ a cigar. "I want to know Just what you have in liilnd fbr the. future. I'm . ahead of your scliooil on'Jn- tellifi^ence and It looks like the sohooi nevet* will catch up; How a]6oat' letting me take the. final examina- tion liow??' "Certainly." said the principal. "What is the difference between your face and a hole In the ground?" .."That's an old one," laughed. Oakie. .'TU say I don't linow and you'll say: Hoi Oakie doton'tknow the difference between his f^e and a Hole in the ground!" "Well, go through with It," aug- gested the i;>rincipal. "Okay," Oakie grinned. He re- cite^, mockingly: "I don't kno>w the difference between my face ^ and a hole In the ground.*' "Nor do I," confessed the prin- cipal, arising and shoving Oakie through the door. "Did I pass?" asked Oakie. "Right out." said the principal. Two Notes The next day Oakie got a Job as clerk in a Wall Street brokerage of- fice. He got the Job by forging a note of Introduction from a Park avenue bootlegger, and lost the Job by sending a genuine note to the of- fice saying he waa spending the day at the beach. May Leslie, who dabbled in the- atricals just for the love of it, gave Oakie his first break. The kid was a chorus boy then, not certain how he had become one and quite worried as to how he could quit be- ing one. The entire problem was solved when Oakie was fired for out- talking the principals, and Miss Leslie shoved him into vaudeville. The next thing Oakie knew he was in pictures, at $126 a liveek. When he clicked later, still In a daze, hla salary continued to be |126 a week, although his managepMPLI looking speculatively at Rolls Royces. "This picture business is funny," mused Oakie. "The higher you go the same you are." He went to see a lawyer and his salary Jumped. Oakie is unafTected by success. He ambles around Hollywood in a sweatshirt when everybody else is attired formally. This makes him what picture people call incon- spicuous. "I attribute my success,'* says Oakie, "to not realizing that I am a success." That's conHidered ( Coast logic