Visual Education (Jan 1923-Dec 1924)

March, 192 3 93 -:iiilimiiiimii»iiimiiimii 11111111 MMt 1 1111 iiitiimiiinriiMiLii mini niim ui.urn n Illlliniil IIIIIIN' lllltlllltlllllllllliltllll "And the World Laughs with You" i-iii mimim inliiiii iiMinii I I I mum i imiiiiinn u :ji i mini i mini I mm Doubling Up A teacher of music in a public school was trying to impress upon her pupils the meaning of / and ff in a song that they were about to learn. After explaining the first sign, she said : "Now, children, what do you say; if / means forte, what does ff mean?" "Eighty!" shouted one enthusiastic pupil. — Youth's Companion, Accident to a Shirt Husband (looking up from the paper which he has been reading) : "I see Thompson's shirt store has been burned out." Wife (slightly deaf) : "Whose?" Husband: "Thompson's shirt store." Wife: "Dear me, who tore it?" — Blighty (London.) A Family Affair Recently a woman dentist was trying to impress upon a group of mothers the necessity of making the children clean their teeth. "Oh ! I don't 'ave to tell my Rose and Daisy!" declared one good lady. "It's a fight between 'em which shall 'ave the toothbrush fust." An Easy One Current Events Teacher : "Who married Princess Mary?" Owner of Quickest Hand: "Oh, I know that one. Doug!"— American Legion Weekly. Consistent "Can I have the five pounds I lent you?" "You can have it next week." "You told me that last week!" "Yes ; do you think I'm a man to say one thing one day and another the next ?" — Karikaturen (Christiania) . Thought He Was White Ole Mammy Lize was dusting the southern woman's drawing room. She came to a small bronze bust of Shakespeare and began carefully going over it with her rag. "Mis' Juliet, chile, who am dis yere gemmum?" "That is Shakespeare, Lize, a wonderful poet, who died centuries ago." "Dat him, miss? Ise done hyear o' Mistah Shakespeare a lot o' times. Everybody seems to know him. 'Deed I done hyear so much 'bout him dat I alius thought he was a white gemmum." Special Occasion Boxcar Harry : "Beg pardon, ma'am, but do you happen to have some pie or cake that you could spare an unfortunate wanderer?" Lady of the House : "No, I'm afraid not. Wouldn't some bread and butter do?" Boxcar Harry: "As a general rule it would, ma'am; but, you see, this is my birthday." — Lc Pele Mele (Paris). Why Not? "Daddy," said his 6-year-old youngster, "I think I want to get married." "What an idea, child !" "I want to marry grandma." "Do you, indeed? And do you think I would let you marry my mother, eh?" "Well, why shouldn't you?" retorted the young logician. "You married mine, didn't you?" — Boston Transcript. Plenty in Prospect "I shall love to share all your .trials and troubles, Jack, darling." "But, Daphne, dear, I have none." "No, not now, darling; I mean when we're married !" — The Passing Show (London). Following Through "Bah ! Golf is an old man's game !" "I can't afford it, either."— Nashville Tcnnesscan. Misplaced A well-known admiral — a stickler for uniform — stopped opposite a very portly sailor whose medal-ribbon was an inch or so too low down. Fixing the man with his eye, the admiral asked: "Did you get that medal for eating, my man?" On the man replying, "No, sir," the admiral rapped out : "Then why the deuce do you wear it on your stomach?" — Tit-Bits (London). Accent on the "Skeet" We like Doug Fairbanks in "The Three Musketeers," but the young lady in the next seat, who called it "Three Muskeeters," evidently thought she had been stung. — Arkansas Gazette. The Correct Announcement New Cook : "What do I say, Ma'am, 'Dinner is served' or 'Dinner is ready*?" Mistress : "Well, if it is anything like it was yesterday, it would be simpler to say 'Dinner is spoiled.' "■ — Karikaturen, Christiania. It Looked Bad "Why you call my boy a poor nut?" queried an indignant mother, who confronted the dietitian of a New Jersey charities association the other morning at her office door. And the latter has not yet found a way of convincing Mrs. Caruso that "poor nut" on the face of Angelo's card stands for "poor nutrition." — Survey. Just Missed Perfection First Cocky (on horseback) : "That cove ye've had wurrkin' for yer arsked me fur a job this mornin'. Was he a steady chap, Ryan?" Second Cocky: "He was. "If he'd ha' bin inny stiddier he'd ha' bin motionless."— The Bulletin (Sydney). A Man of the World In some of the schools there are penny savings banks for the children. One Friday afternoon a little depositor asked if he might draw out 3 cents. Monday morning, seeing him return the money, .the teacher remarked : "Why, Robert, you didn't spend your 3 cents after all!" "O, no," he replied airily, "but a fel low^just likes to have a little money on hand over Saturday and Sunday."— Peoria Transcript. He: I could dance on like this forever. She : Oh, I'm sure you don't mean that ! You're bound to improve. Scientific Management "Dicky," said his mother, "when you divided those five caramels with your sister, did 3'ou give her three?" "No, ma. . I thought they wouldn't come out even, so I ate one 'fore I began to divide." — Edinburgh Scotsman. Experienced Mrs. Jones was entertaining some of her son's little friends. "Willie," she said, addressing a six-year-old who was enjoying a plate of cold beef, "are you sure you can cut your own meat?" The child, who was making desperate efforts with his knife and fork, replied, "Yes, thanks. I've often had it as tough as this at home." — The ChristianEvangelist (St. Louis). Easy "What is capital?" "The money the other fellow has." — Siniplicissinnts (Munich).