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W. C. Fields
Rubinstein, a critic suffering from jealousy, would no doubt have been horribly chagrined to know that the concerto was later to be recognized by a famous band leader named Freddie Martin, bolstered up by a lyric dealing with Love, and sung in some of the best dance halls in the world.
One of Fields' most notable lapses regarding critics took place in England. The man who engineered the incident, a contributor to a London newspaper, was kind to Fields but suggested what a pity it was that Hazlitt, who had written learnedly about Indian jugglers, had not lived to see the American visitor. By some chance, Fields happened to read the criticism, and in spite of himself he started to worry. The word "learned" stuck in his mind. Was there more to juggling than he thought? Was he exploiting his gift to the full? Would Hazlitt have approved? Very much worried, he went to a library, unearthed Hazlitt's works, and read the piece on juggling. It was, he acknowledged, a revelation; Hazlitt clearly explained that juggling was a matter of precision, mathematics, co-ordination, muscle control, breathing, relaxed nerves, and several other imposing things, some of them in Latin. When Fields went away, his head was spinning. He only hoped that he could remember the ingredients of successful juggling long enough to put them into practice.
The following day at the theater he took up his usual stance, but his thoughts were on Hazlitt. He tossed several balls and hats into the air and concentrated heavily on precision, mathematics, co-ordination, muscle control, breathing, relaxed nerves and the things in Latin. All about him balls and hats tumbled to the floor. He picked them up and heaved them aloft again, chanting the learned phrases. On this try he almost caught one hat, but it clipped through his fingers just as he got to "co-ordination." All in all, it was a trying evening for Fields, but it was worse for his
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