W. C. Fields : his follies and fortunes (1949)

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W. C. Fields the admiration of his distinguished colleagues when a colored boy whisked by on a motorcycle. "Don't let that boy get around you, Bill. It's bad luck," cried Rogers. "Have no fears, my friend," Fields said in a pompous voice, and he kicked the car up to sixty-five, skidded around a curve, and turned over three or four times in a ditch. It was a bad accident. Passing motorists called an ambulance, and Rogers, with a broken leg, was taken to a hospital. Fields and Sale were luckily unhurt, but the latter had smeared grease on the snowwhite uppers of his new high-button shoes. He kept complaining about the damage to his shoes, and his companion was worried. Fields apparently gave little thought to the Cadillac, which was wrecked, but he inspected the shoes, and dabbed at them with a cloth. Finally, in the hospital, as they waited for reports on Rogers, Fields marched up to Sale and said, "See here, do you hold me responsible for those shoes?" "It hadn't even entered my mind," said Sale, looking down ruefully. "Well, I'm going to take care of this," said Fields, "and I want you to forget about it." "Nonsense," said Sale. "I mean it," said Fields. "I'm going to have my cobbler rip those greasy parts off and put you on a brand-new set of uppers." 1 80