W. C. Fields : his follies and fortunes (1949)

not exceptional return on his investment, and allowed him to come and go unmolested backstage. It was in the Vanities that Fields acquired some reputation for being quick with the ad-libbed line. This was the beginning of a departure that was to become a monumental nuisance in Hollywood. In the Follies and in the Scandals he had been largely content to abide by the agreed-upon script, with such exceptions as his mistaking the Russian wolfhound for a camel in the golfing scene. But with the added luster of cinema stardom he felt an obligation to improvise. Thereafter, he said pretty much what he pleased. "A lot of it was funny, but a good deal was pure balderdash," recalls a singer of the period. On occasion, Fields' nimble mind saved an embarrassing situation. During one of his scenes in the Vanities a backdrop collapsed somewhere offstage with an ear-splitting crash. Fields lifted his nose inquisitively and remarked, "Mice." The audience howled, and the ad lib became the foundation for a whole new structure of jokes. Another time, onstage by himself, he leaned against a huge piece of scenery, which swayed limply, then fell forward with a dusty thwack at his feet. "They don't build these houses the way they used to," Fields roared, and the audience, convulsed, was sure that the incident had been contrived. Because he never appeared as a night-club comedian, or worked in similar places where the ad lib receives special publicity, Fields was slow in developing a name for fast thinking. But many people who knew him were long impressed with his wit. Mr. and Mrs. James Thurber were preparing to enter the Mocambo once in Hollywood when Fields came out with a dazzling blonde. The girl threw her arms around his neck and gave him a loud smack. "Is this a private party or can anybody get in on it?" Mrs. Thurber asked the comedian. "My lips are sealed, Mrs. T., my lips are sealed," he replied. 209