W. C. Fields : his follies and fortunes (1949)

W. C. Fields of bad breath originating in the mouth," and "Your Y-Zone is safe with Hempies, the middle-sized cigarette." He was ever on the lookout for additions of valuable new ingredients, such as Latakia and chloroform, and he marveled that almost every cigarette was far outselling its competitors. In the windup, he realized that the ultimate end of the fight for mildness was no tobacco at all, and he quit smoking in response to advertising of this sort. Now and then, when he had finished a successful movie, Fields ventured to listen to other comedians. On one memorable evening he announced to a stunned household that Jack Benny was a very accomplished performer. "The boy's got real timing, and I've always appreciated that talent," he said. The following Sunday, Miss Monti turned to the Benny program, and Fields jarred the radio with an accurately thrown volume of Martin Chuzzlewit. "I never heard such claptrap in my life!" he roared; then he turned to a musical hour which he detested. During the late war he was a passionate follower of the course of events. He listened to all the commentators, cursed and railed at the Japs and Germans, and bought a gaudy map, into which he thrust colored pins at odd, erroneous places, such as Madagascar and Peru. The war bit into Fields deeply. He discussed it at great length one afternoon with Lionel and John Barrymore, Gene Fowler, and John Decker, the artist. Their hatred of the foe provoked them to have quite a few drinks, and the drinks increased their hatred of the foe. Around four o'clock, in full battle humor, they got in a car and drove down to enlist. At the time, besides being fairly well along in both years and alcohol, most of them were suffering from some incapacitating illness. For example, it was thought best to take Lionel Barrymore's wheel chair along, in case they got an immediate overseas assignment. His colleagues assisted him from the car to his chair, after which they pushed him 264