World Film and Television Progress (1938)

The Spewaek stage success Mtoy Meets 4, irl has boon filmed, -lames Cagney has returned to Warner IBros. In play llobcrt Law : Pat O'Brien is J. Carlyle Benson, anil Marie Wilson plays Susie. Last moil He we published advance stills from Hie film version of this famous satire on Hollywood. The interest aroused was such I hat we feel sure our rentiers will enjoy the extracts printed helow from the film script. • • • law : Benson, injustice has been done. We've been lacking in respect for the idol of illiteracy. benson : Do we apologise? law: No. rosetti: Well, let me tell you something — before I became an agent I taught diction. And Larry Toms is potentially the greatest actor I ever met. I can prove it — with X-rays. (He fumbles with his brief-case and extracts X-ray photographs.) I was just taking them up to show B.K. He's got the Barrymore Larynx. I'll put his larynx alongside of John Barrymore's and I defy you to tell me which is which. larry : I couldn't tell myself and it's my own larynx. (Rosetti has given the X-rays to Benson.) benson : Say, are you sure this is his larynx? rosetti : Gentlemen, I wouldn't be surprised with the proper training, if Larry couldn't sing. That opens up the whole field of musicals. benson (to Law) : What are we waiting for? law: Lunch. larry (roaring): I'm getting fed up with this. I got writers who are just plain crazy — a producer who can't concentrate and ain't even here — and — rosetti : Now, now, Larry, don't lose your temper. larry : The idea of writers gettin' fifteen hundred a week for actin' like hoodlums! law : I agree with you. larry : Huh? law : We're not writers. We're hacks. If we weren't, would I be sitting here listening to your inarticulate grunts? LARRY : Aw. . law: That's exactly what I mean. For two cents I'd take the next train back to Vermont. benson : Will you forget Vermont? LAW (indicating Larry) : I wouldn't have to sit around with that in Vermont. I'd write. Really write. benson: Yeah, I know. law : I wrote once. I wrote a book — a darned good book. I was a promising young novelist. 1 almost got the Pulitzer prize in 1930. And in 1937 I'm writing dialogue for a horse! (points to Larry.) larry : Now, listen rosetti: Larry — Larry, take a deep breath. The boys mean no harm. rosetti : Exhale! (Larry slowly exhales.) law (sniffing): I smell carbon exhaust. larry: One more crack, that's all — just one more crack. (Enter C.F.) larry : Hello, Mr. Friday. We've been waiting for you. Listen c.f. : Good morning, good morning. (Seating himself at desk.) Boys, no antics please. We've got a heavy day ahead of us. (Picks up phone.) Miss Crews, I don't want to be disturbed by anybody — understand? And order some lunch. A plate of raw carrots, and a bottle of certified raw milk. See that it's raw. Bring enough for everybody. law: (talking into telephone) Just a minute. Benson and Law want two cups of chicken broth, some ham hocks, cabbage, lemon meringue pie, and some bicarbonate of soda. c.f. : You're slaughtering yourselves, boys. You won't be able to think with that poison in your stomachs. And we've got to think. I've just seen B.K., boys; this studio is facing a crisis. rosetti: Any truth in the report, C.F., that Elstree-British wants to buy the studio? c.f. : You know as much about it as I do, Rosetti. law: Why sell? I thought we were sitting pretty. We're in receivership. rosi rn: Well, I'm going up to see B.K. I hope you boys get a good story for Larry. (He goes out.) C.F. (more freely): As a matter of fact, you may as well know it. There may be a reorganisation. benson : Again? c.f. : And you know my position. I'm the only college-bred man in the studio. They resent me. law : The big snobs. c.f. : Just because I've always tried to do something fine, something dignified, something worth while I'm being hammered on all sides. (Impressively) Boys, if my next picture fails, I'm out. And you're out, Larry. And it won't do you two boys any good either. Of course — (a little bitterly) you can always write plays. law : I don't see why not. We never wrote any. C.F. : 1 have an idea for a play I want to discuss with you some time. You'll be wild about it. Just one set— simple to produce and practically anybody can play it. Katherine Cornell would be marvellous for the girl. She dies in the first act. larry (angrily): Listen here, Mr. Friday, I ain't in the theatre. What about my picture. C.F. : Boys, we need a big picture. Not just a good story. I want to do something fine — with sweep, with scope — stark, gripping — but with plenty of laughs and a little hokum. Something we'll be proud of. Not just another, but the picture of the year. A sort of Charge of the Light Brigade, but as Kipling would have done it. Susie the waitress, enters, carrying the lunch. law (running to her) : Lunch! benson : Grub! Susie, I love you. c.f. : Wait a minute — wait a minute (Benson takes tray from Susie.) susie (weakly): Please, Mr. Benson, be careful. law : Put that tray right down here. susie: Thanks— it's not very heavy (she then collapses on the floor). c.f. : Good gad! law (bending over Susie): Susie — Susie benson (excitedly into phone) : Get the doctor over here right away. law : Somebody give me water — c.f. (looking down disapprovingly): This is a nice thing to happen in my office. Who is this girl, anyway? law (giving glass of water to Susie) : Come on, Susie (lifts her head to glass). larry : That commissary shouldn't employ people with epileps\ . C.F. : I had an actor who did that to me once. Held up my shooting schedule fourteen days. si sir (opening her eyes): Did you all get napkins? benson: Now Susie — get into this chair. susie: Thank you. c.f. : What's wrong with you, young lady? susie: Nothing. I'm much better now. Thanks. 107