World Film and Television Progress (1938)

susie : law: SUSIE law: c.f. : Where's that doctor? susie: Did you call for a doctor? You didn't have to. C.F. : Do you get these epileptic fits often? susie: I didn't have an epileptic fit. c.f. : Then what's wrong with you? susie: There's nothing wrong — it's only natural. c.f. : Only natural for you to come into my office and collapse on the floor? susie: Oh, no, sir. It's only natural when you're going to have a baby. c.f. (into phone) : Tell that doctor not to come — You heard me — I don't want him (hangs up). I won't have my office converted into a maternity ward! I don't think much of your husband — letting you work at a time like this! (It is clear that Susie has no husband). susie (rising) : You'd better eat your lunch before it gets cold. Have you all got napkins? benson : Take it easy, Susie. law: The new generation! "You'd better eat your lunch," she says. "It's only natural," she says. Susie, you are magnificent. I'm quitting at the end of the week so I thought I'd tell everybody why. I wouldn't want them to think I was discontented. Our little mother! Our little mother! Oh, don't make fun of me. Fun? I've never been so touched in my life. Susie I feel purified. benson : Susie — can we be god-father? susie : Do you mean it? benson : Do we mean it? Just say "yes", and see how quick I get Mark Hellinger to print: "Benson and Law are godfathering in June!" susie: Oh, I think that would be wonderful for Happy to have writers for a godfather. benson: Happy? susie: I'm going to call him Happy — even if he's a girl. Because I want him to be happy — even if he's a girl. benson: Beautiful! A beautiful thought! Where are you going to have this baby, Susie? : In the County Hospital. It's all fixed. I was very lucky because I've only lived in the county three months and I'm not eligible. Now, listen, boys. I've had enough of this. law (at phone) : Give me the Cedars of Lebanon Hospital — and make it snappy! benson (slapping Law on the back): We've got a baby! c.f. : Just a minute — hang up that phone! law (into phone): Dr. Barx, please. Willy, this is Law of Benson and Law. Reserve the best suite in the house for us. I'm serious! Dead serious. A little friend of ours is going to need you pretty soon, and we want the best service you've got in stock. benson: Day and night nurse. law (to Bensoy) : And not the one with the buck teeth, either. She's dynamite. (Into phone) We want everything that Joan Blondell had — only double — What's that? Bill? Bill the studio of course. susie : C.F. c.i . You'll do no such thing! What kind of a gag is this? Miss Crews enters, followed by two men with trumpets. miss crews : Do you want to hear the trumpet call? The men are here. Music Depart nent wants your O.K. c.f. : Trumpets? miss crews: For "Young England". c.f. : Look here. I haven't time to listen to you now. Come back here at two o'clock. And give it to me from out there. I don't want you blasting in my ear. Miss crews: Yes, Mr. Friday. (The three exit.) c.f. : Now, boys, let's get together on this. ( To Susie.) And you — what are you sitting here for? Get out! Susie tries to rise. law (to Susie): Sit right where you are. (At C.F.) Don't you bark at our inspiration! We've got it! c.f. : Huh? What? law (with mounting excitement): A baby! c.f. : Boys, I'm a patient man, but you're trying me. " Our little Mother . . ." benson (excitedly): Larry Toms and a baby! law (to C.F.) : Do you see it? He is startled. larry : Wait a minute — wait a minute— law: He finds a baby in the Rockies— benson : Girl with a no-good gambler — out of Las Vegas — has a baby — gambler is killed. Girl leaves baby on ranger's doorstep. Larry is the ranger — He finds the baby. benson: A baby! law: My goodness, he says, 'a baby!" benson : The most precious thing in life! law: The cutest goldarn little thumbsucker you ever saw — benson: Tugging at every mother's heart— and every potential mother— law : And who isn't? benson : A love story between Larry and the baby! law: The Two Outcasts! benson : And then he meets the mother— law : She wants her baby back. benson : She's reached the end of her tether. law : She hasn't even got a tether. benson: The man she loved — let her down. She hates men — all men. law : She won't look at Larry. benson: No— there she sits— bitter, brooding, cynical — but underneath a mother's heart. law: Out on the Rockies— benson: The heck with the Rockies! He's in the Foreign Legion! law: Right! Larry's joined to forget. He's out on the march. We can use all that stock stuff. And he finds a baby — benson : He's gone off to fight the Riffs. law: The heck with the Riffs! Ethiopians! benson: Stick to the Riffs. We don't want any race problems. law : She doesn't know if he's coming back — ■ benson: She's waiting — waiting — law: Cut to the Riffs. Cut back— into the battle. His father's Colonel — benson : Talk about Kipling— law : Talk about scope — sweep — what a setup! benson: A love story! law: A great love story! (enraptured) The Virgin of the Foreign Legion and the West Point man who wanted to forget! benson: The baby brings them together, splits them apart, brings them together— law : Boy meets girl — benson: Boy loses girl — law: Boy gets girl — C.F. springs up and bangs desk. c.f. : Boys, I think you've got something! Let's go up and try it on B.K. white it's hot. Larry strides forward, advancing on C.F. larry: Wait a minute! You can't act with a baby. They steal every scene. law : Are you selling motherhood short? * * * (They go to B.K., head of the studio.) law: The Cowboy and the Baby! benson: The sweetest story ever told! law : Combines the best features of motherhood and horse-operas. c.f. : I suppose we could get Baby LeMaire. He's about due for a comeback. law: That has been? Nonsense — that's the point of the whole thing— we're going to have a new-born baby. benson: Brand new. law: We're going to watch that baby — the first hair — the first tooth — the first smile — benson: The same baby — no switching. First time in the history of pictures. That baby's going to grow before your eyes. law: Open up like a flower — benson : Minute he's born we set the cameras on him. b.k. : He ain't born yet? Can I make a contract with a possibility? larry : The whole idea's crazy. Do you expect a big star like me to support a baby? benson: You've supported a whole lot of horses. This is a step up. law: Can't you see it, B.K.? The publicity angle along — Imagine the headlines! — "A Star Is Born!" benson: That's a good title, Law. Too bad they just used it. law : The baby's going to gurgle and google and drool his way to stardom. b.k. (after slight deliberation): Boys, I think you've got something .... 109